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How to Manage and Stop Self Injuring Behavior

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by xxAngelOnFirexx, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    I found this off of a webpage i think its best if i post it here:

    Self-injury: You are NOT the only one

    Introduction
    In spite of the title, there is no shame here. If you cause physical harm to your body in order to deal with overwhelming feelings, know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's likely that you're keeping yourself alive and maintaining psychological integrity with the only tool you have right now. It's a crude and ultimately self-destructive tool, but it works; you get relief from the overwhelming pain/fear/anxiety in your life. The prospect of giving it up may be unthinkable, which makes sense; you may not realize that self-harm isn't the only or even best coping method around.

    For many people who self-injure, though, there comes a breakthrough moment when they realize that change is possible, that they can escape, that things can be different. They begin to believe that other tools do exist and begin figuring out which of these non-self-destructive ways of coping work for them. This site exists to help you come closer to that moment.

    How do you know if you self-injure? It may seem an odd question to some, but a few people aren't sure if what they do is "really" self-injury. Answer these questions:

    Do you deliberately cause physical harm to yourself to the extent of causing tissue damage (breaking the skin, bruising, leaving marks that last for more than an hour)?

    Do you cause this harm to yourself as a way of dealing with unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, thoughts, or situations (including dissociation)?
    If your self-harm is not compulsive, do you often think about SI even when you're relatively calm and not doing it at the moment?
    If you answer #1 and #2 yes, you are a self-injurer. If you answer #3 yes, you are most likely a repetitive self-injurer. The way you choose to hurt yourself could be cutting, hitting, burning, scratching, skin-picking, banging your head, breaking bones, not letting wounds heal, among others. You might do several of these. How you injure yourself isn't as important as recognizing that you do and what it means in your life.

    Self-injurious behavior does not necessarily mean you were an abused child. It usually indicates that somewhere along the line, you didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings. You're not a disgusting or sick; you just never learned positive ways to deal with your feelings.

    Please try to make yourself safe before proceeding; some of these pages contain material that may temporarily intensify the urge to self-harm in some people. If you are struggling with the impulse to self-injure right now, you may want to skip directly to the self-help section. If you're new to the concept of self-injury and don't know where to start, try this quick primer on SI. The primer is also useful if you find some of the other pages here too technical.



    How do I know if I'm ready to stop?
    Deciding to stop self-injury is a very personal decision. You may have to consider it for a long time before you decide that you're ready to commit to a life without scars and bruises. Don't be discouraged if you conclude the time isn't right for you to stop yet; you can still exert more control over your self-injury by choosing when and how much you harm yourself, by setting limits for your self-harm, and by taking responsibility for it. If you choose to do this, you should take care to remain safe when harming yourself: don't share cutting implements and know basic first aid for treating your injuries.
    Alderman (1997) suggests this useful checklist of things to ask yourself before you begin walking away from self-harm. It isn't necessary that you be able to answer all of the questions "yes," but the more of these things you can set up for yourself, the easier it will be to stop hurting yourself.


    While it is not necessary that you meet all of these criteria before stopping SIV, the more of these statements that are true for you before you decide to stop this behavior, the better.
    I have a solid emotional support system of friends, family, and/or professionals that I can use if I feel like hurting myself.
    There are at least two people in my life that I can call if I want to hurt myself.
    I feel at least somewhat comfortable talking about SIV with three different people.
    I have a list of at least ten things I can do instead of hurting myself.
    I have a place to go if I need to leave my house so as not to hurt myself.
    I feel confident that I could get rid of all the things that I might be likely to use to hurt myself.
    I have told at least two other people that I am going to stop hurting myself.
    I am willing to feel uncomfortable, scared, and frustrated.
    I feel confident that I can endure thinking about hurting myself without having to actually do so.
    I want to stop hurting myself.


    [Alderman (1997) p. 132]
    How do I stop? And anyway, aren't some of these techniques just as "bad" as SI?
    There are several different flat-out-crisis-in-the-moment strategies typically suggested. My favorite is doing anything that isn't SI and produces intense sensation: squeezing ice, taking a cold bath or hot or cold shower, biting into something strongly flavored (hot peppers, ginger root, unpeeled lemon/lime/grapefruit), rubbing Ben-Gay® or Icy-Hot® or Vap-O-Rub® under your nose, sex, etc. Matching reactions and feelings is extremely useful.
    These strategies work because the intense emotions that provoke SI are transient; they come and go like waves, and if you can stay upright through one, you get some breathing room before the next (and you strengthen your muscles). The more waves you tolerate without falling over, the stronger you become.

    But, the question arises, aren't these things equivalent to punishing yourself by cutting or burning or hitting or whatever? The key difference is that they don't produce lasting results. If you squeeze a handful of ice until it melts or stick a couple of fingers into some ice cream for a few minutes, it'll hurt like (to quote someone I respect) "a cast-iron bitch" but it won't leave scars. It won't leave anything you'll have to explain away later. You most likely won't feel guilty after -- a little foolish, maybe, and kinda proud that you weathered a crisis without SI, but not guilty.

    This kind of distraction isn't intended to cure the roots of your self-injury; you can't run a marathon when you're too tired to cross the room. These techniques serve, rather, to help you get through an intense moment of badness without making things worse for yourself in the long run. They're training wheels, and they teach you that you can get through a crisis without hurting yourself. You will refine them, even devise more productive coping mechanisms, later, as the urge to self-injure lessens and loses the hold it has on your life. Use these interim methods to demonstrate to yourself that you can cope with distress without permanently injuring your body. Every time you do you score another point and you make SI that much less likely next time you're in crisis.

    Your first task when you've decided to stop is to break the cycle, to force yourself to try new coping mechanisms. And you do have to force yourself to do this; it doesn't just come. You can't theorize about new coping techniques until one day they're all in place and your life is changed. You have to work, to struggle, to make yourself do different things. When you pick up that knife or that lighter or get ready to hit that wall, you have to make a conscious decision to do something else. At first, the something else will be a gut-level primitive, maybe even punishing thing, and that's okay -- the important thing is that you made the decision, you chose to do something else. Even if you don't make that decision the next time, nothing can take away that moment of mastery, of having decided that you were not going to do it that time. If you choose to hurt yourself in the next crisis time, you will know that it is a choice, which implies the existence of alternative choices. It takes the helplessness out of the equation.


    So what do I do instead?
    Many people try substitute activities as described above and report that sometimes they work, sometimes not. One way to increase the chances of a distraction/substitution helping calm the urge to harm is to match what you do to how you are feeling at the moment.
    First, take a few moments and look behind the urge. What are you feeling? Are you angry? Frustrated? Restless? Sad? Craving the feeling of SI? Depersonalized and unreal or numb? Unfocused?

    Next, match the activity to the feeling. A few examples:

    angry, frustrated, restless
    Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:
    Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
    Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
    Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
    Hit a punching bag.
    Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
    Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
    On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
    Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
    Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
    Break sticks.
    I've found that these things work even better if I rant at the thing I am cutting/tearing/hitting. I start out slowly, explaining why I am hurt and angry, but sometimes end up swearing and crying and yelling. It helps a lot to vent like that.
    Crank up the music and dance.
    Clean your room (or your whole house).
    Go for a walk/jog/run.
    Stomp around in heavy shoes.
    Play handball or tennis.

    sad, soft, melancholy, depressed, unhappy
    Do something slow and soothing, like taking a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles, curling up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow. Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted. Light sweet-smelling incense. Listen to soothing music. Smooth nice body lotion into the parts or yourself you want to hurt. Call a friend and just talk about things that you like. Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend.

    craving sensation, feeling depersonalized, dissociating, feeling unreal
    Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:
    Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)
    Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream) for a minute.
    Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
    Rub liniment under your nose.
    Slap a tabletop hard.
    Snap your wrist with a rubber band.
    Take a cold bath.
    Stomp your feet on the ground.
    Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.
    [NOTE: Some people report that being online while dissociating increases their sense of unreality; be cautious about logging on in a dissociative state until you know how it affects you.]

    wanting focus
    Do a task (a computer game like tetris or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc) that is exacting and requires focus and concentration.
    Eat a raisin mindfully. Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.

    Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.

    Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it.
    Pick a subject and research it on the web.


    Try some of the games and distractions at digibeet's page; she's assembled a lot of distractions.

    wanting to see blood
    Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.
    Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
    Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
    Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

    wanting to see scars or pick scabs
    Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.
    Another thing that helps sometimes is the fifteen-minute game. Tell yourself that if you still want to harm yourself in 15 minutes, you can. When the time is up, see if you can go another 15. I've been able to get through a whole night that way before.

    I tried all of that. I still want to hurt myself.
    Sometimes you will make a good-faith effort to keep from harming yourself but nothing seems to work. You've slashed a bottle, your hand is numb from the ice, and the urge is still twisting you into knots. You feel that if you don't harm yourself, you'll explode. What now?




    Get out the questions Kharre asks. It's a good idea to have several copies of these printed out and ready to use; you can also answer them online; your responses will be mailed privately to you and no one will see them except you.

    Answer these as honestly and in as much detail as you are able to right now. No one is going to see the answers except you, and lying to yourself is pretty pointless. If, in all honesty, you see no other answer to #8 but yes, then give yourself permission, but set definite limits. Do not allow the urge to control you; if you choose to give in to it, then choose it. Decide beforehand exactly what you will allow yourself to do and how much is enough, and stick to those limits. Keep yourself as safe as you can while injuring yourself, and take responsibility for the injury.

    The questions (for more explanation, see kharre's post on the subject):


    Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

    Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

    What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

    How do I feel right now?

    How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

    How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

    Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

    Do I need to hurt myself?


    Staying safe while hurting yourself
    A few things to keep in mind should you decide that you do need to hurt yourself:
    Don't share cutting implements with anyone; you can get the same diseases (hepatitis, AIDS, etc) addicts get from sharing needles.
    Try to keep cuts shallow. Keep first aid supplies on hand and know what to do in the case of emergencies.
    Do only the minimum required to ease your distress. Set limits. Decide how much you are going to allow yourself to do (how many cuts/burns/bruises, how deep/severe, how long you will allow yourself to engage in SI), keep within those boundaries, and clean up and bandage yourself later. If you can manage that much, then at least you will be exerting some control over your SI.

    What is "fake pain" and why does it matter?
    The concept of "fake pain" helps to explain why distress-tolerance skills are so crucial.
    Observation of myself and interviews with others have convinced me that one of the reasons people self-injure is to deflect unknown, frightening pain into understandable, sort-of-controllable "pseudo" or "fake" pain. Calling this phenomenon "fake pain" is in no way intended to suggest that it doesn't hurt; it hurts like hell. When memories or thoughts or beliefs or events are excessively painful, instead of facing them directly and feeling "genuine" pain, we sometimes deflect distress into pain that seems understandable and controllable, like that of self-injury. The real feelings associated with the event you're avoiding get overridden by those of the situation you create to distract yourself. It still hurts like hell, but it's a controllable familiar hell, whereas the real pain you're avoiding seems scary and poised to take over your world like the monster who ate Detroit.

    It's easy to revert to "fake" pain. Trying to find the source of your distress can be scary as hell, because you often don't know what you're going to unleash. Fake pain, although very painful and traumatic, is something that you understand and can control and can handle. It's familiar, not mysterious and scary like the real pain behind it. You might feel that if you ever exposed yourself to the real pain you'd lose control: "If I ever start crying, I'll never stop" or "If I let myself get mad about that, I'll never stop screaming."

    Instead, you unconsciously deflect the distress away from the memories or feelings that generated it and into self-injury. SI is seductive: you control it. You know the boundaries, even when you feel out of control. It makes sense and it makes the distress go away, at least for a while. It's a clever mechanism -- it takes what seems unbearable and transforms it into something you can control. The only problem is that when you deflect pain, you never face up directly to what it is that has caused this much tumult in your life. So long as you channel distress into fake pain, you never deal with the real pain and it never lessens in intensity. It keeps coming back and you have to keep cutting.

    You have to deal with the unbearable if you ever want to make it lose its power over you. Every time you can meet the real pain head-on and feel it and tolerate the distress, it loses a little of its ability to wipe you out and eventually it becomes just a memory. The process is like building tolerance to a drug. Narcotics users take a little bit more of their drug every day as tolerance builds, until eventually they're routinely taking amounts of drug that would kill an ordinary person. The poisonous events in your past work in a similar way. Exposure (with the help of a trained therapist) over time will build your tolerance to these events and enable you to lay them to rest. The key is learning to tolerate distress.



    DBT-related skills
    Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual has several helpful worksheets for getting through crisis situations. Though they are best used as part of a DBT program with a trained therapist, you might find some of them helpful.

    Accepting Reality

    This concept focuses on learning to accept reality as it is. Accepting it doesn't mean you like it or are willing to allow it to continue unchanged; it means realizing that the basic facts of the situation are even if they aren't what you'd like them to be. Without this kind of radical acceptance, change isn't possible.

    Letting Go of Emotional Suffering
    In this worksheet, you learn ways to observe and describe your emotion, separate yourself from it, and let go of it. One of Linehan's basic principles is that emotion loves emotion, and this worksheet is designed to help you experience your emotions with amplifying them or get caught in a feedback loop.

    Distraction
    Distraction is simply doing other things to keep yourself from self-harming. Most of the techniques mentioned above are distraction techniques; you bring something else in to change the feeling. Using ice, rubber bands, etc, is substituting other intense feelings for the self-injury. Other things Linehan suggest substituting include experiences that change your current feelings, tasks (like counting the colors you can see in your immediate environment) that don't require much effort but do take a great deal of concentration, and volunteer work.

    Improve the Moment

    This worksheet focuses on ways to make the present moment more bearable. It differs from distraction in that it's not just a diverting of the mind but a complete change of attitude in the moment.

    Evaluating the Pros and Cons of Tolerating Distress
    As the name implies, this worksheet leads you through an evaluation: what are the benefits of doing this self-harming thing? What are the benefits of not doing it? What are the bad things about doing it? About not doing it? Sometimes writing this down can help you make a decision not to harm.

    Self-Soothing
    This, like improving the moment and distracting, is a distress tolerance technique. It's pretty straightforward: use things that are pleasing to your senses to soothe yourself. Some people find that active distraction works better for violent angry feelings and soothing is more effective for soft, sad ones.

    Reducing Vulnerability to Negative Emotion

    Prevention of states in which you are likely to self-harm is covered in this worksheet, which suggests ways of taking care of yourself in order to minimize the times when you feel the urge to hurt yourself. If you're balancing eating, sleeping, and self-care, you're less likely to be overwhelmed by emotion.

    Interpersonal Effectiveness
    Being clear about what you want and about your priorities in an interaction are crucial to good communication, and this worksheet offers a series of questions and steps to follow to help you determine how to approach a difficult interpersonal interaction. It is truly amazing how much going through these steps can help.
     
    #1 xxAngelOnFirexx, Sep 17, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2007
  2. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    Living with self-injury
    "to be nobody-but-myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting" -- ee cummings

    As much as we'd like it to be, self-injury isn't something that can be tucked away in a little corner of your life where it doesn't touch anything else. Even after you've stopped, it continues to affect who you are and how you interact with people. Scars fade but never disappear entirely. Feelings of alienation may subside but still lurk in the background. If you're still actively hurting yourself, life gets even more complicated. This page is meant to offer some answers for the unique dilemmas self-injury brings into your life: telling others, answering intrusive questions, hiding and healing scars, and a few medical issues. I am not a medical professional and these pages are presented for informational purposes only. No diagnosis or treatment is intended.

    Coming out
    Admitting to the people in your life that you self-injure is analogous in many ways to the process of coming out as gay or bi. This list of things to consider when deciding to tell those you love about your way of coping with stress is adapted from a coming-out list in Bass and Kaufman 1996.

    The assumption here is that you'll tell people about your SI in a conversation, but that's not the only way to come out. Some people have found that writing down everything they want to say and presenting it to someone has worked for them. If you choose this approach, follow the general guidelines below and be sure you remain available for discussion after the person has read what you've told them. If you want to come out to someone via email, I'd suggest you follow up immediately with a chat session or a telephone call.

    Be willing to give the other person some time to digest, though -- if you follow up with them and they say "I'd like to think about this for a while," give them space. Ask them to let you know when they're ready to talk, and let it go.


    Be sensitive to the other person's feelings
    It can be nearly as hard for them to hear it as it is for you to tell them. Realize that they're probably wondering what they did wrong or how they could have prevented you from feeling so much pain or why you turned out "sick." You don't have to accept their value judgments about your SI, but be open to hearing what they have to say about it. You might learn something, and you can teach them a great deal.


    Explain that coming out is an act of love
    Let them know that your deciding to tell them about self-injury is a sign of your love for and trust in them. Usually, a person decides to tell someone about his/her SI because s/he loves them, wants or needs their loving support, and is tired of keeping a whole part of her/himself from them. The desire to be open and to trust outweighs the fear of rejection or hatred or disgust. Let the person you're telling about your self-harm know you're not trying to punish. manipulate, or guilt-trip them.


    Pick a place that is private and a time that is unhurried
    This is serious stuff. Find a time when everyone involved is available for a long conversation. Do it in a place where everyone's comfortable and there's no need to worry about being overheard. If you're rushed or hurried or afraid other people nearby will hear and react, you're not going to be able to give your full attention to the conversation and neither will anyone else.


    Don't tell others in anger

    Don't use your SI as a weapon: "Oh, yeah, well look, you made me cut/burn/scratch/hit!" To get the love and understanding you're seeking, you may have to give some in return. Whether or not the person you have decided to share your secret with has contributed to the problems that led to your SI is irrelevant to the coming-out conversation. If you start getting angry and blaming, you're going to put the other person on the defensive and they'll get angry. The whole process will bog down and be hideously unpleasant and unproductive. Using SI as a weapon also increases the likelihood that the person you're coming out to will react in exactly the ways you're hoping they won't.


    Consider enlisting an ally
    If you have a friend or therapist who understands your SI you might want to ask them to sit in on the conversation. A neutral third person can help keep things calm.


    Provide as much information as you can
    This is crucial.The more someone knows about something, the less they fear it. Many people have never heard of self-injury or have heard weird sensationalized tabloid reports. Be prepared to give the person books or names of books, articles, photocopies, printouts, addresses of web sites, etc. Gather as much information as you can so you can answer their questions accurately and honestly.


    Be willing (and prepared) to answer their questions

    You may have to educate them about SI. Encourage them to ask whatever questions they may have. If they ask a question you don't have an answer to,say "I don't know" or "I can't say" or even "I prefer not to get into that right now." Be as open as you can. You might want to anticipate questions they'll ask and get an idea of how you want to answer those before you come out. You can ask other people who've come out what they were asked to get some ideas.
    You should also have a good idea in your mind of what you want to do about the self-injury -- they're going to ask. Do you want treatment? What sort? If not, what's the rationale for not treating it? Do you want them to help you stop or control it? How can they help? What's too intrusive and what isn't? Now is a good time to start setting boundaries.


    It's not necessary to bring up the most disturbing topics in the first conversation
    Don't start by describing in technicolor detail the time you needed 43 stitches and a transfusion. It's probably best to avoid graphic descriptions of what you do; if asked, just say "I cut myself on the wrist" or "I hit the walls until I get bruises" or whatever. Try not to freak them out; you can give details (if necessary) in some other conversation.


    Trust your own judgment
    Do what feels natural to you. You know yourself and your family and friends far better than I ever will.


    Communicate
    Be willing to talk to the people you're coming out to about your reactions, and ask them to let you know what they're thinking. Communication goes both ways.
    Scars
    For some people, scars aren't an issue -- they self-injure in ways that don't leave permanent marks or they only injure in places that are normally covered by clothing (the torso, shoulders, etc). For most people who cut or burn, though, scars happen. Some people like their scars and look on them as battle wounds or even life-maps. Many others hate their scars and want to find ways to get rid of them. Both attitudes are equally valid.
    The two most common scar questions I hear are "How do I explain them?" and "How do I make them go away?"


    Dealing with unpleasant questions
    It happens sooner or later - you're at school or work, on the bus, in a shop, and someone notices. "What happened to your {arm, leg, face, whatever}?"
    People aren't usually trying to make you uncomfortable. Quite often, they're just making conversation; they don't really want to know why you have scars, but it's something to say. Nevertheless, you're stuck coming up with an answer.

    Quite often, the easiest solution is to half-laugh or make a rueful face and say "It's a long story." Then change the topic. This deflects most people; if they persist, you can say, "I would really rather not discuss this." You can be a bit icy here -- after all, they're being a bit rude by asking you personal questions and not letting you gracefully avoid answering.

    On the other hand, you could try some of the suggestions that came up during a discussion of excuses on the bus email list. You prolly won't use most of them, but read them for the laughs:

    I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.
    I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
    The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.
    The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.
    This first one is kind of lame, but it's what I use most often: "Um, uh...I, uh....you see....I...uh...Well,...." At which they usually try to help me out by replying, "Did you fall?" And I say, "Yes, thanks."
    Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
    I hurt myself.
    I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.
    "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."
    "It's a long story." They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, "I've got time." Then I said, "I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it's obviously not THAT long."
    I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.
    I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.
    I slipped while making a salad.
    I fell asleep, and the clown got me.
    I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.
    I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.
    Those aren't cuts, they're mehendi.
    Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label!
    What are you talking about?? (as I quickly pull my sleeves up.)
    Damn Cat.
    Well, when I was younger, I had this dream that a dog was following me...he ran, and I ran, but the faster I ran, the more he sped up. I wanted to get to safety, to my house...I was almost there...but right when I got to the front porch, he bit me. Everywhere. Lots of times. Making marks that don't look like bites at all. And when I woke up... ::wide eyes:: and I had THESE.
    "What scars?" They usually reply "those ones," to which I reply, "I don't see anything."
    The voices told me to do it.
    I wrestle Tigers...
    I got them climbing a fence to escape this hell-hole. (said at school)
    (said to a guy who thinks I worship the devil) I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::
    (about scars on my stomach) "Oh, those are from having my baby." "You don't have a baby!" "No, but I could."
    None of your business, you stupid (insert appropriate curse word here)
    I did it. (Hey, honesty works sometimes)
    Dealing with scars themselves
    If you hate your scars and want to do something about them, you have two options: You can find ways to conceal your scars, or you can try to heal/minimize them.
    Hiding scars
    Sometimes it's possible to hide scars.
    Wrist scars can be covered by long sleeves, bracelets, or watches.
    In summer, wear long-sleeved shirts of light material (silk, gauzy cotton, and the like).
    Another summer idea is to wear a long-sleeved shirt open over a tank top or t-shirt. If anyone questions it, you can tell them you're worried about sun exposure.
    Some leg scars in women can be hidden by pantyhose or tights.
    Concealer makeup (like Dermablend) can be used to hide some scars. You can get more info at dermablend.com. People have reported getting very good results with Dermablend, which was formulated for covering port-wine birthmarks and skin conditions like vitiligo. It's waterproof and can be blended to match skin color very closely.


    Healing scars
    The first step in healing scars is probably good wound care. Wash with Betadine if appropriate, and use a good antibiotic ointment (like Neosporin) on the wound daily. Johnson & Johnson make a new bandage, Band-Aid Advanced Healing, that seals the wound completely. Fluids from the wound are absorbed by special particles in the bandage that turn them into a gel to cushion the wound. This keeps the wound moist, which reduces itching and helps it heal faster. It also can reduce the urge to pick at the wound, because you are meant to keep the bandage on continuously until the wound has healed, or about a week.

    For some types of scarring, special creams or bandages may help. Mederma is a cream designed to minimize scarring, but it must be used when the scar is very new. Reports on its efficacy are mixed.

    There are several brands of silicone sheets and pads available:

    Rejuveness

    Syprex

    Clinicel (a cushion)

    Cicacare
    ReTouch
    ScarFX
    ScarEase

    Mepiform

    to name a few. Syprex also makes a cream, a topical gel, and a special cleansing wipe. A new product, ScarGuard, combines liquid silicone, mild cortisone, and vitamin E. You paint the liquid over the scars to form something similar to a silicone sheet, and use it in the same way you use the sheets.

    Silicone sheets are taped tightly (a few now are self-adhesive) over the scars for several hours each day. Treatment continues for varying lengths of time (days to weeks). The manufacturers claim that these sheet can soften and fade most raised or red scars, even keloids. Some burn centers do use them to help diminish scarring after grafts, and unlike Mederma, they are meant for old scars as well as new. None of these products will make scars disappear but they can help make them less obvious (and cut down on intrusive questions. I've seen Rejuveness and Cicacare at Walgreen's in the US.

    Curad recently introduced ScarTherapy, a new product for reducing scar tissue. It uses polyurethane instead of silicone, which allows air to get through; instead of wearing the sheet a few hours every day, you wear it continually; each day you take off the old sheet and put on a new self-adhesive one. Like the silicone sheets, it claims to be able to flatten and lighten scars (in other words, none of these will do much for flat scars that are paler than surrounding skin). I'm interested in hearing reports on this product; if you try this, email me.

    Plastic surgery might be effective for some sorts of scarring, but it is very expensive and leaves scars of its own. Dermabrasion might work for very light scarring, but I've heard from several people who found it useless, expensive, and painful. The same holds for laser resurfacing. I've not heard of either working well for SI scars -- if you know of someone it's helped (or it helped you), please email me.

    Cortisone injections combined with laser therapy can flatten large keloids, but you'll still have a remnant of a scar. The treatment can be painful, and results aren't guaranteed.

    Skin grafts can be done to reduce a network of scars to one big scar which can be more easily explained, but they still leave you with a big ugly scar. Someone reported having wedge surgery in which the scarred areas were cut out in a wedge and skin edges sewn back together, leaving one long scar. I've also heard about a procedure in which balloons are slipped under the skin and slowly inflated to stretch the skin out. The loose skin is then sewn over the scarred area. If you know anything about this, I'd love to hear details.

    If you decide to have plastic surgery done, you will have to convince your surgeon that you are through self-injuring; most doctors will not help you cover scars if they think you're going to go out and get new ones right away. Some may require that you be SI-free for a set period of time before they'll consider doing the surgery.

    Tattooing over scars may be an option for some people, but scarred skin is very difficult to work with and may not hold ink well. If you want to try this route, ask around and check references until you find a very good, very experienced tattoo artist and set up a meeting to discuss the possibilities. If the artist thinks tattoos wouldn't work well on your scar, it might be best to drop the idea. Again, this is something to do only if you're pretty sure you're not going to scar the area afterward.

    A good source for information about scars and plastic surgery is http://www.scarcare.org. Remember that nothing can make the scar go away completely; treatments can only change the shape, appearance, or location of it.

    Medical concerns for people who cut
    If you are still using self-injury as a way to cope with overwhelming situations, you need to pay attention to your health and monitor yourself for symptoms of anemia or dehydration.
    If you cut, you're losing two important things: fluid (plasma) and red blood cells. Your body can replace the plasma in about 48 hours if you drink enough liquid. The red cells will take about two months to be replenished.

    Dehydration can send you into shock. The most common symptom is dizziness, especially when changing positions (for example, standing up after having been lying down for a while). You may also have a very rapid pulse. If the dehydration is severe (you're very dizzy, your eyes look sunken, you can't keep fluids down, your skin is clammy and you feel weak), go to the doctor immediately -- they'll give you IV fluids and you'll be fine in a few hours. To avoid getting to that point, be sure to drink 8 glasses of water daily (more on days you've lost blood). If you feel dizzy after SI, drink as much water or juice as you can and monitor yourself for symptoms of shock.

    Anemia happens when you lose too much iron by losing too many red cells. If you are anemic, you will be pale and feel very weak. You might be irritable and short of breath and just feel bad. If you have these symptoms, you can see a doctor and have the anemia confirmed; the doctor will then give you iron supplements and vitamin C and tell you that you'll feel better in a couple of months. If you want to avoid becoming anemic, but you're not ready to stop cutting, you should take a multivitamin with iron and vitamin C daily and stop the bleeding on your cuts as quickly as possible.
     
  3. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    Help for families and friends
    Now what? Perhaps someone you care about has honored you by trusting you with information about their self-injury, or maybe you've inadvertently discovered it.

    Regardless of how you found out, you know about it now, and you can't pretend it away -- you have to respond in some way. Here are some guidelines for dealing with SI in a friend or family member. You might also find it helpful to post to and read the family and friends section of the bus web board. Some good conversations happen there.
    Don't take it personally.

    Self-injurious behavior is more about the person who does it than about the people around him/her. The person you're concerned about is not cutting, burning, hitting, or whatever just to make you feel bad or guilty. Even if it feels like a manipulation, it probably isn't intended as one. People generally do not SI to be dramatic, to annoy others, or to make a point.

    Educate yourself.
    Get as much information as you can about self-injury in general. This page is a good start; there are also some very informative books out there (in particular, Bodies Under Siege by Favazza, The Scarred Soul by Alderman, and A Bright Red Scream by Strong). The Favazza book is more scholarly in tone, the Alderman book is oriented toward self-help, and Strong's book presents the voice of self-injurers talking about what they do and why -- it lets you inside the mind of people who SI. All contain much valuable information and advice.

    Understand your feelings.

    Be honest with yourself about how this self-injury makes you feel. Don't pretend to yourself that it's okay if it's not -- many people find self-injury repulsive, frightening, or provoking (Favazza, 1996; Alderman, 1997). If you need help dealing with the feelings aroused in you by self-injury, find a good therapist. Be careful, though, that you not try to get "surrogate therapy" for your family member/friend -- what goes on in your therapy sessions should remain between you and your therapist. Don't ask your therapist to try to diagnose or treat the person you're concerned about, and if the self-injurer seeks treatment, be sure that s/he is seeing a different therapist than you are. Don't discuss the content of your therapy sessions in any but the most general terms, and never say anything like "My therapist says you should..." Therapy is a tool for self-understanding, not for getting others to change.

    Be supportive without reinforcing the behavior.
    It's important that your friend, lover, child, sibling know that you can separate who they are from what they do, and that you love them independently of whether they self-injure. Be available as much as you can be. Set aside your personal feelings of fear or revulsion about the behavior and focus on what's going on with the person.
    Some good ways of showing support include:


    Don't avoid the subject of self-injury. Let it be known that you're willing to talk, and then follow the other person's lead. Tell the person that if you don't bring the subject up, it's because you're respecting their space, not because of aversion.
    Make the initial approach. "I know that sometimes you hurt yourself and I'd like to understand it. People do it for so many reasons; if you could help me understand yours, I'd be grateful." Don't push it after that; if the person says they'd rather not talk about it, accept this gracefully and drop the subject, perhaps reminding them that you're willing to listen if they ever do want to talk about it.

    Be available. You can't be supportive of someone if you can't be reached.
    Set reasonable limits. "I cannot handle talking to you while you are actually cutting yourself because I care about you greatly and it hurts too much to see you doing that" is a reasonable statement, for example. "I will stop loving you if you cut yourself" isn't reasonable if your goal is to keep the relationship intact.

    Make it clear from your behavior that the person doesn't need to self-injure in order to get displays of love and caring from you. Be free with loving, caring gestures, even if they aren't returned always (or even often). Don't withdraw your love from the person. The way to avoid reinforcing SIV is to be consistently caring, so that taking care of the person after they injure is nothing special or extraordinary.

    Provide distractions if necessary. Sometimes just being distracted (taken to a movie, on a walk, out for ice cream; talked to about things that have nothing to do with self-injury) can work wonders. If someone you care about is feeling depressed, you can sometimes help by bringing something pleasant and diverting into their lives. This doesn't mean that you should ignore their feelings; you can acknowledge that they feel lousy and still do something nice and distracting. (This is NOT the same as trying to cajole them out of a mood or telling them to just get over it -- it's an attempt to break a negative cycle by injecting something positive. It could be as simple as bringing the person a flower. Don't expect your efforts to be a permanent cure, though; this is a simple improve-the-moment technique.)

    If you live apart from the person you're concerned about, offer physical safe space: "I'm worried about you; would you come sleep over at my house tonight?" Even if the offer is declined, just knowing it's there can be comforting.
    Don't ask "Is there anything I can do?" Find things that you can do and ask "Can I ?" People who feel really bad often can't think of anything that might make them feel better; asking if you can take them to a movie or wash those (month-old) dishes (if done nonjudgmentally) can be really helpful. Spontaneous acts of kindness ("I saw this flower at the store and knew you'd love to have it") work wonders.


    Take care of yourself.

    It sounds like hard work, and it is. And if you try to be completely supportive to someone else 24/7, you're going to burn out (and they won't have any incentive to change). You have to find ways to be sure your needs are being met.
    Take a break from it when you need to. When setting limits, remember that as much as you love someone, sometimes you're going to need to get away from them for a while. Tell the person that sometimes you need to recharge and that it doesn't affect your love for him/her. Only break into this personal time in cases of absolute life-or-death crisis.

    The balance here is tricky, because if you make yourself more and more distant, you might get a reaction of increasing levels of crisis from the other person. If you let them know that they don't have to be about to die to get love and attention from you, you can take breaks without freaking the person out. The key is developing trust, a process that will take some time. Once you prove that you are someone who isn't going to go away at the first sign of trouble, you will be able to go away in non-crisis times without provoking a crisis response.


    Ultimatums do NOT work. Ever.
    Loving someone who injures him/herself is an exercise in knowing your limitations. No matter how much you care about someone, you cannot force them to behave as you'd prefer them to. In nearly two years of running the bodies under siege mailing list, I have yet to hear of a single case in which an ultimatum worked. Sometimes SI is suppressed for a while, but when it inevitably surfaces it's often more destructive and intense than it had been before. Sometimes the behavior is just driven underground. One person I know responded to periodic strip searches by simply finding more and more hidden places to cut. Confiscating tools used for SIV is worse than useless -- it just encourages the person to be creative in finding implements. People have managed to cut themselves with plastic eating utensils.

    Punishments just feed the cycle of self-hatred and unpleasantness that leads to SIV. Guilt-tripping does the same. Both of these are incredibly common and both make things infinitely worse. The major fallacy here is in believing that SIV is about you; it almost invariably isn't (except in the most casual ways).

    Accept your limitations.

    Acknowledge the pain of your loved one.
    Accepting and acknowledging that someone is in pain doesn't make the pain go away, but it can make it more bearable. Let them know you understand that SIV isn't an attempt to be willful or to make life hard for you or to be unpleasant; acknowledge that it's caused by genuine pain they can find no other way to handle. Be hopeful about the possibility of learning other ways to cope with pain. If they're open to it, discuss possibilities for treatment with them.

    Don't force things.
    If you make overtures and they're rejected, back off for a few days or weeks. Don't push it. Some people need time to decide to trust someone else, particularly if they've received a lot of negative feedback about their SI before. Be patient.
     
  4. xxAngelOnFirexx

    Full Member

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    here are the references listed on the website: http://www.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/

    References
    Alderman, T. (1997). The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence. Oakland: New Harbinger.

    American Psychiatric Association. (1995). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th ed. Washington D.C.: American Psychiatric Association.

    Barnes, R. (1985). Women and self-injury. International Journal of Women's Studies, 8(5), 465-475.

    Bass, E. & Kaufman, K. (1996). Free Your Mind : The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth--And Their Allies. New York: HarperCollins.

    Batty, D. (1998). Coping by Cutting. Nursing Standards, 12(29), 25-6.

    Birmaher, B., Stanley, M., Greenhill, L., Twomey, J., Gavrilescu, A., & Rabinovich, H. (1990). Platelet imipramine binding in children and adolescents with impulsive behavior. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 29(6), 914-918.

    Brodsky, B. S., Cliotre, M, & Dulit, R. A. (1995). Relationship of dissociation to self-mutilation and childhood abuse in borderline personality disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 152, 1788-92.

    Buzan, R. D., Thomas, M., Dubovsky, S. L., & Treadway, J. (1995). The use of opiate antagonists for recurrent self-injurious behavior. Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 7(4), 437-444.

    Cauwels, J. (1992). Imbroglio: Rising to the challenges of borderline personality. New York: W. W. Norton.

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    Clarke, L. & Whittaker, M. (1998). Self-mutilation: culture, contexts, and nursing responses. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 7(2), 129-37.

    Coccaro, E. F. & Kavoussi, R. J. (1997a). Fluoxetine and impulsive aggressive behavior in personality-disordered subjects. Archives of General Psychiatry, 54(12), 1081-1088.

    Coccaro, E. F., Kavoussi, R. J., & Hauger, R. L. (1997b). Serotonin function and antiaggressive response to fluoxetine: a pilot study. Biological Psychiatry, 42(7), 546-552.

    Coccaro, E. F., Kavoussi, R. J. , Sheline, Y. I., Berman, M. E., & Csernansky, J. G. (1997c). Impulsive aggression in personality disorder correlates with platelet 5-HT2A receptor binding. Neuropsychopharmacology, 16(3), 211-216.

    Cowdry, R. W. & Gardner, D. L. (1988). Pharmacotherapy of borderline personality disorder: Alprazolam, carbamazepine, trifluoperazine, and tranylcypromine. Archives of General Psychiatry, 45(2), 111-119.

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    Favazza, A. R. (1987). Bodies Under Siege: Self-Mutilation in Culture and Psychiatry. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins University Press.

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    Favazza, A. R. & Conterio, K. (1988). Self mutilation and eating disorders. Suicide and Life Threatening Behavior, Fall.

    Favazza, A. R. & Rosenthal, R. J. (1993). Diagnostic issues in self-mutilation. Hospital and Community Psychiatry. 44(2), 134-140.

    Ferreira de Castro, E., Cunha, M. A., Pimenta, F., & Costa, I. (1998). Parasuicide and mental disorders. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 97(1), 25-31.

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    Golden, B. & Walker-O'Keefe, J. (1986). Self-injury: Hidden pain in the workplace. EAP Digest, Nov/Dec, 13, 68-69.

    Haines, J. & Williams, C. L. (1997). Coping and problem solving of self-mutilators. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(2), 177-186.

    Haines, J., Williams, C. L., Brain, K. L., Wilson, G. V. (1995). The psychophysiology of self-mutilation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 104(3), 471-489.

    Hammock, R. G., Schroeder, S. R., & Levine, W. R. (1995). The effect of clozapine on self-injurious behavior. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 25(6), 611-626.

    Hartgrove Hospital. (1995). Self-Injury Information Packet.

    Hawton, K. (1990). Self-cutting: Can it be prevented? In Hawton, K. & Cowen, P. J. (ed) Dilemmas and difficulties in the management of psychiatric patients. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

    Hawton, K., Arensman, E., Townsend, E., Bremner, S., Feldman, E., Goldney, R., Gunnell, D., Hazell, P., van Heeringen, K., House, A., Owens, D., Safinosky, I., & Traskman-Bendz, L. (1998). Deliberate self harm: systematic review of efficacy of psychosocial and pharmacological treatments in preventing repetition. BMJ, 317(7156), 441-7.

    Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery. New York: BasicBooks.

    Herpertz, S., Sass, H., & Favazza, A. R. (1997). Impulsivity in self-mutilative behavior: psychometric and biological findings. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 31(4), 451-465.

    Herpertz, S., Steinmeyer, S. M., Marx, D., Oidtmann, A., & Sass, H. (1995). The significance of aggression and impulsivity for self-mutilative behavior. Pharmacopsychiatry, 28(Suppl 2), 64-72

    Hogg, C. & Burke, M. (1998). Many people think self-injury is just a form of attention seeking. Nursing Times, 94(5), 53.

    Kahan, J. & Pattison, E. M. (1983). The deliberate self-harm syndrome. American Journal of Psychiatry, 140, 867-872.

    Kahan, J. & Pattison, E. M. (1984). Proposal for a distinctive diagnosis: the Deliberate Self-Harm Syndrome. Suicide and Life Threatening Behavior, 14, 17-35.

    Kastner, T., Finesmith, R., & Walsh, K. (1993). Long-term administration of valproic acid in the treatment of affective symptoms in people with mental retardation. Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology, 13(6), 448-451.

    Kavoussi, R. J., Liu, J., & Coccaro, E. F. (1994). An open trial of sertraline in personality disordered patients with impulsive aggression. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 55(4), 137-141.

    Kehrberg, C. (1997). Self-mutilating behavior. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 10(3), 35-40.

    Kernberg, O. F. (1986). Severe Personality Disorders: Psychotherapeutic Strategies. New Haven: Yale University Press.

    Khouzam, H. R., & Donnelly, N. J. (1997). Remission of self-mutilation in a patient with borderline personality during risperidone therapy. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 185(5), 348-349.

    Kreisman, J. & Straus, H. (1989). I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me! New York: Avon Press.

    Kubetin, C. & Mallory, J. D. (1992). Beyond the Darkness. Dallas: Word/Rapha.

    Landecker, H. (1992). The role of childhood sexual trauma in the etiology of borderline personality disorder: Considerations for Diagnosis and Treatment. Psychotherapy, 29, 234-42.

    Linehan, M. M. (1993a). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Linehan, M. M. (1993b). Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Linehan, M. M., Armstrong, H., Suarez, A. Allmon, D. & Heard, H. (1991). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of chronically parasuicidal borderline patients. Archives of General Psychiatry, 48, 1060-1064.

    Linehan, M. M., Oldham, J. & Silk, K. (1995). Dx: Personality disorder-- now what? Patient Care, 29(11), 75-83.

    Linehan, M. M., Tutek, D., Heard, H. & Armstrong, H. (1992). Interpersonal outcome of cognitive behavioral treatment for chronically suicidal borderline patients. American Journal of Psychiatry, 151(12), 1771-1775.

    Loughrey, L., Jackson, J., Molla, P., & Wobbleton, J. (1997). Patient self-mutilation: when nursing becomes a nightmare. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing, 35(4), 30-4.

    Luiselli, J. K., Matson, J. L. & Singh, N. N., eds. (1992). Self-injurious behavior: analysis, assessment, and treatment. New York: Springer-Verlag.

    Malinosky-Rummell, R. & Hansen, D. J. (1993). Long-term consequences of childhood physical abuse. Psychological Bulletin 114(1), 68-79.

    Malon, D. W. & Berardi, D. (1987). Hypnosis with self-cutters. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 50(4), 531-541.

    Markovitz, P. J., Calabrese, J. R., Schulz, S. C., & Meltzer, H. Y. (1991). Fluoxetine in the treatment of borderline and schizotypal personality disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry, 148(8), 1064-1067.

    Marziali, E., &Munroe-Blum, H. (1994). Interpersonal Group Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: BasicBooks.

    Miller, D. (1994). Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book of Hope and Understanding. New York: BasicBooks.

    Morgan, H. (1979). Death Wishes? The Understanding and Management of Deliberate Self-Harm. New York: Wiley.

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    Ricketts, R. W., Goza, A. B., Ellis, C. R., Singh, Y. N., Singh, N. N., & Cooke J. C. 3d. (1993). Fluoxetine treatment of severe self-injury in young adults with mental retardation. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 32(4), 865-869.

    Roberts, A. R., ed. (1975). Self-destructive Behavior. Springfield, IL: Thomas.

    Simeon, D., Stanley, B., Frances, A., Mann, J. J., Winchel, R., & Stanley, M. (1992). Self-mutilation in personality disorders: psychological and biological correlates. American Journal of Psychiatry, 149(2), 221-226.

    Simpson, E. B., Pistorello, J., Begin, A., Costello, E., Levinson, J., Mulberry, S., Pearlstein, T., Rosen, K., & Stevens, M. (1998). Use of dialectical behavior therapy in a partial hospital program for women with borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Services, 49(5). 669-73.

    Solomon, Y. & Farrand, J. (1996). "Why don't you do it properly?" Young women who self-injure. Journal of Adolescence, 19(2), 111-119.

    Sonne, S., Rubey, R., Brady, K., Malcolm, R., & Morris, T. (1996). Naltrexone treatment of self-injurious thoughts and behaviors. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 184(3), 192-195.

    Sovner, R., Fox, C. J., Lowry, M. J., & Lowry M. A. (1993). Fluoxetine treatment of depression and associated self-injury in two adults with mental retardation. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 37(Pt 3), 301-311.

    Stein, D. J., Trestman, R. L., Mitropoulou, V., Coccaro, E. F., Hollander, E., & Siever, L. J. (1996). Impulsivity and serotonergic function in compulsive personality disorder. Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 8(4), 393-398.

    Stoff, D. M., Pollock, L., Vitiello, B., Behar, D., & Bridger, W. H. (1987). Reduction of (3H)-imipramine binding sites on platelets of conduct-disordered children. Neuropsychopharmacology, 1(1), 55-62 .

    Wakefield, H. & Underwager, R. (1994). Return of the Furies: An investigation into recovered memory therapy. Chicago: Open Court Publishing Company.

    Walsh, B. W. & Rosen, P. M. (1988). Self-Mutilation: Theory, Research, and Treatment. New York: Guilford Press.

    Winchel, R. M. & Stanley, M. (1991). Self-Injurious behavior: A review of the behavior and biology of self-mutilation. American Journal of Psychiatry, 148(3), 306-315.

    Witherspoon, T. (1990). Self destruction. Employee Assistance, March, 11-12, 14.

    Yaryura-Tobias. J. A., Neziroglu F A., & Kaplan S. (1995). Self-mutilation, anorexia, and dysmenorrhea in obsessive compulsive disorder. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 17(1), 33-38.

    Zweig-Frank, H., Paris, J., & Guzder, J. (1994). Psychological risk factors for dissociation and self-mutilation in female patients with borderline personality disorder. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 39(5), 259-264.
     
    #4 xxAngelOnFirexx, Sep 17, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2007
  5. JSG

    JSG Guest

    My god that's huge !!
    :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
    I really hope this post will help people stuggling with self-harm.
     
  6. JayHew

    In Loving Memory Regular Member

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    Excellent post Angel. Very good information for all.

    I was developing a sticky concerning it so perhaps it would be good to post it here:

    Self-Injury Behavior

    With recent threads concerning cutting and perhaps other forms of self-injury and with increasing numbers of individuals, especially teens, being treated for the phenomenon, it is felt some explanation and discussion is warranted.

    It is estimated that 4% of the general population and about 14% of college students engage in self-injury behavior. In spite of these numbers, this remains a taboo subject and stigmatized by counseling professionals as well as not being well understood.

    Basically Self-injury Behavior is described as the deliberate alteration or destruction of body tissue without conscious suicidal intent; although 55-85% of self-injurers attempt at least one episode of suicide.

    Although cutting is the most popular form of self-injury behavior, burning, self-hurting, interference with wound healing, hair pulling, and bone breaking are also types of self-injurious behavior. It appears that those who injure themselves are seeking to escape from intense feelings or to obtain some level of focus. After the act most feel better for a short time.

    There are two classifications of individuals who have self-injury behavior. The technical terms are:
    1. Dissociative - The individual performs the means of self-injury but is not aware they have done so until there is pain or blood is sensed or seen.
    2. Nondissociative – The individual is aware of what they are doing in the process of self-injury and this group makes up the majority of people with self-injury behavior.

    Some forms of self-injury are acceptable to our societies and cultures around the world. These primarily are associated with ear piercing, personal tattoos and eyebrow plucking to name a few. It is pointed out that excessive piercing and tattoos, etc. may be an expression of self-injury that satisfies something similar to others who cut themselves and do other injuries.

    There are a number of reason a person self-injures and they are complex, but a few hallmarks have been identified, but the reasons may not be the same for each time an episode happens. It appears to affect males most.

    So what are some of the characteristics of this disorder?

    • Release anger, pain, or anxiety. The self-injury helps relieve the tensions.
    • Gain a sense of control – helps them focus when they feel out of control.
    • Physical pain to distract from emotional pain – better to feel something than nothing at all.
    • Inflict pain on someone who is not available – transference or taking on the anger towards the other person when absent.
    • Ground oneself – brings the individual back to reality.
    • Communicates a need for support – gives an individual who has difficulty expressing their emotions a means of asking for help.
    • Prevent suicide – used as a means of coping with thoughts of suicide.

    What causes people to Self-injure?

    It is felt there are a number of conditions that lead to the appearance of this disorder. Low self-esteem, feelings of neglect, being marginalized, not paid attention to, feelings of abandonment, physical as well as emotional abuse (conditions that can lead to PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) dysfunctional family situations, alcoholic parent(s) are some of the better known situations that present multiple problems.

    Self-injury is often carried out when individuals attempt to deal with difficult or overwhelming emotions and are not sure how to more effectively manage their emotions.

    What can one do?

    The following information comes from The University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire, Counseling Services and says it best:

    What Can be Done if You Are Considering Injuring Yourself?

    First, people generally do not wish to hurt themselves, but see no better way of managing their emotions. The suggestions below are for people who have made the decision to quit self-injuring, and are looking for alternative strategies to deal with their emotions. Author Deb Martinson suggests looking at the emotions behind the urge to help determine which strategies you might try. (Anger, frustration, restlessness, sadness, melancholic, craving sensation, wanting to see blood, wanting to focus):

    Techniques to Try:

    • Distract yourself. Get away from the situation you are in, and do something else.
    • Talk with someone who is supportive, such as a family member, friend, RA, hall director, or counselor.
    • Engage in another activity that requires stimulation. Give yourself a massage, take a hot or cold shower, squeeze ice, finger paint, or squish Play-doh.
    • Exercise is a way of quickly managing emotions. Go for a brisk walk or run, punch a pillow, swim, lift weights, or engage in other aerobic activities that require physical exertion.
    • Pamper yourself by doing something soothing. Read, listen to music, take a relaxing bath, look at the moon or clouds, open a window to get some fresh air.
    • Make a list of activities to engage in that have been helpful in the past when you had the urge to self-injure. Keep this list handy to refer to if you do have the urge to self-injure.

    Log the Following Information If You Have the Urge to Self-Injure:

    • Rate the intensity of your urge to hurt yourself on a scale from 1-10.
    • Identify which emotions you are feeling.
    • Rate the intensity of each emotion on a scale from 1-10.
    • Identify the situation you were in prior to your urge to hurt yourself.
    • Identify the unhelpful/impulsive thoughts present when you had the urge to hurt yourself.
    • Identify more helpful/more realistic thoughts to dispute the unhelpful ones.

    Rate the intensity of your emotions a scale from 1-10 after completing this log.

    You may notice that working through this activity helps you more closely identify what you are feeling and thinking, and how a situation that occurred before the desire to self injure may be connected to the urge. Some people find that the urge to self injure greatly decreases after going through this step by step process.

    It may also be helpful to think about the first time self-injury occurred, the situations and emotional factors at that time, and how they were dealt with.

    How Can I Break Free From Self-Injury?

    Recognizing that there is hope beyond self-injury is the first step, and Counseling Services can be great support. People often fear that self-injury will be seen as shameful or secretive. It does not have to be. A counselor can be the empathic encourager coaching individuals to help meet their goals. A counselor can work with individuals to help increase coping mechanisms, and to provide support as people look more deeply at their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. By looking at factors associated with self-injury, and underlying concerns, many can begin to break free from self-injury. Additionally, seeking assistance from Health Services or a health care professional may be beneficial, as there is research that suggests that medication in addition to therapy may help those who self-injure.

    For Concerned Others:

    It can be difficult to know that ones you care about deliberately injures themselves. It can be difficult to not want to rush in and “save” them from their pain. People engaging in self-injurious behaviors need to be the ones making the decision to change their behaviors. You can share your concern, and urge them to ask for help. You can also let them know that you are available to call if they have the urge to self-injure, feel emotionally overwhelmed, or want to be with someone. Unconditionally showing them that they do not need to self-injure to get love and attention from you can be helpful. Asking if you can take them out to a movie, or to get a snack is a way to provide a distraction, and gives them the chance to accept your offer.

    If you are living in the residence halls, asking an RA or hall director to become a part of a support team can be an important step in empowering the person self-injuring, especially if the self-injury is distressing others, or endangering the safety of the one you care about.

    Additional Resources:

    Website by Deb Martinson: This website offers a comprehensive look at self-injury, strategies for coping with the urge to self injure, and how to support someone who engages in self-injury. This website offers first-aid tips, but is not a substitute for professional medical care.

    Website with information from Lisa Ferentz, LICSW: This website offers an article reflecting the current research relating to self-injurious behavior.

    Book by Tracy Alderman, Ph.D.: The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence. This self-help book provides information and exercises to work through self-injury, and to increase coping mechanisms.

    Book by Conterio, Lader, & Kingson Bloom Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Treatment Program for Self-Injurers. ISBN 0-7868-8504-1. Available at the UWEC Library.

    Book by Marilee Strong: A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain, ISBN 0-14-028053-7. Available at the Eau Claire Public Library

    I hope the above information is a help to all in understanding this disorder and a means of hope for those who engage in it. I am available for comments or questions through PM, just please understand that I am not able to do full on counseling.
     
    #6 JayHew, Sep 17, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2007
  7. Paul_UK

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    I have made this sticky, as it is excellent information to keep readily available. Thanks for finding and posting that, Morgan.

    I have also edited JayHew's post above to include the information he posted here so we can keep all this excellent information together in one place.
     
  8. Jim1454

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    Great information! I'm glad you were looking for it, and even more glad that you found it!!!! By reading through some of it, it does sound very much like addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc.
     
  9. nl0118

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    Thanks for posting this thread, Morgan. I read over it a few nights ago- very useful information.
     
  10. subrhythm

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    wow, that was a long read :slight_smile: but very informative and useful. i've had a lot of problems with SI in the past, and its something that i have (mostly) overcome. I do still think about it when i'm in a stressful situation, and it can often be a struggle not to act on these thoughts, but i can say that i haven't injured myself in over a year, which is pretty huge for me. one of the biggest deterrents is thinking about all the crap i deal with now over the scars on my arms. people are very good at jumping to conclusions, and for some reason most people seem to lose all tact when asking about my scars! for example, i went on a short holiday recently and i was sitting around a campfire with a bunch of people i had only met a few days before, when one girl asks 'dude, what happened to your arms??' in a loud enough voice for everyone to stop talking and look at me and try to see what this other girl was talking about. when i said 'its a long story' she said 'its okay, we have all night'. awkward, is all i can say.

    anyway, this post is a little longer than i planned. like i said, nice work on all the info!

    laura
     
  11. donnie5

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    i used to self injure a long time ago until i became comfprtable with myself and i realized i never asked myself questions like they peobably would have helped
     
  12. behind closet doors

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    thank you! that helped alot, i've been cutting myself for about 6 years now, since i was nine. i think the majour reason i couldn't stop was because noone seemed to care if i lived or died, so i wanted to die, but the imformation you posted helped me go for a week without cutting and thats a real first for me so thanks
     
  13. Scottish17

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    jst dont do it
    it doesnt help you in any way
     
  14. Connor

    Connor Guest

    "Just don't do it" won't stop someone self injuring, though. It makes people feel better (your body releases endorphins when you hurt yourself). People who self injure will most likely not see it as black and white as you do - because you don't self injure, I assume. It is good to stop, self injury doesn't help you, but it's not easy to stop. Despite how much it will hurt you in the long term.

    I commend you on your thread, it's well put together and informative.
     
    #14 Connor, Jan 4, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2008
  15. Gustav

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    It is hard to stop self-injury, but i did over come it.
     
  16. Krischaos

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    good thread it helps been a cutter for 3 years
     
  17. Zoe7022

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    A trick I have heard of is getting a red marker, and using it like a knife. I haven't tried it, but it might help.
     
  18. sweetthing16

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    thats alot of information on this. but hopefully, it will help someone in need. thanks for posting it!
     
  19. Fox

    Fox
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    This is a great article. I admit I'm a cutter, and several of the coping methods described here have worked for me. This is a great post to keep stickied IMO
     
  20. Gumtree

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    This is amazing!

    I only just around to reading the whole thing and it's great.

    You might like to know that my Aunty made a copy of it to give to other people, she thought it was the best summarized version of managing SI in ones self and others she has read!!

    She made an acknowledgment to EC of course!