URGH the f--ing parents PLUS I don't know where I stand with my friend...

First of all, MY MOM IS PISSING ME OFF SOO MUCH RIGHT NOW. :bang: :bang: :bang: :***: :***: :***: today she got all mad at me and my sister that we left the fucking lawn sprinkler on for too long.... and we had to have a "family meeting" about it and she made us both apologize about something that was totally NOT OUR FAULTS.... but there's nothing I can do about it cause if I talk back I get punished, and if I stay silent I get punished..... and my sister is having a hard time right now too and she doesn't feel like she can tell my mom in the current state, although she can trust her brother... :tantrum: . bah END OF RANT.

My past best friend told me last year that he was transgender. I haven't seen him for 2 months, but he came over a couple days ago for a pool party and dinner. We took my dog for a walk and he told me that the reason he was avoiding me the last couple months is that he has feelings for me (I don't think he took me seriously when I told him I was gay). GREAT except for one thing. He's beginning hormone therapy this summer, and I have zero sexual attraction to females. I'm semi attracted to his male body, but whenever I see his crossdress pictures it's a total turnoff. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, when we were walking and talking, he slipped his hand into mine and I didn't pull away! Now I'm confused as to where we stand and how much I'm going to have to hurt him to clarify things... problematic because he thinks I'm straight and completely cool with dating a transwoman (which I'm fine with the idea of it, but I get nothing out of women, period)..... and I don't even think he's relationship material in the first place, so EVEN IF HE WASN'T TRANS nothing could happen between us. :help: :help: :help:

 

K'so update. Mom is still pissing me off. But a bit less now. It's tolerable mostly. however, she went through my computer and found a gay themed movie (not porn, dirty people!) and she wanted to know where it came from. Now she's keeping close tabs on me and my computer activity. *checks shoulder* And she made a very morbid statement/pun about sexuality that I won't repeat here but is not giving me exceptional hopes for her support when I come out.

Trans friend has a boyfriend so it's not an issue in that way anymore. And I clarified with her about my sexuality and we're planning on going to the gay centre together with a mutual friend. So that's better.