1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My brother keeps calling me bro and dude

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by PrinceVegeta, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It honestly feels awesome and great... but I never told my brother about my issue yet... For those who don't know, my ex broke up with me 4 months ago and we lived together until then.. The house was in his name so I had to leave and my brother was nice enough to let me stay with him until I found a place of my own. Is it possible that now that he is living with me again after us not being under the same roof in over 6 years that he is catching on to things? I really like he is addressing me as a guy.. but I remember him once giving his opinions on trans and they weren't opinions I agreed with.. But a few minutes ago when we were both in the kitchen, before we left, he said "love you bro and fist pumped me"... It almost made me want to say something. asdfghjkkjhgfdsd I don't know, part of this is just getting this off my chest rather than asking if I should tell him. Plus it kind of feels like an accomplishment all on it's own that he has been addressing me the way he has.
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Uhhh.. Are you making something out of nothing?

    If his straightforward actions towards you are to treat you like a brother and that's exactly what you want, please identify why this is a problem...

    Or does it revolve around the fact that you are not Out to him?
     
    #2 Quantumreality, Jan 23, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2017
  3. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It revolves around the fact I am not out to him. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
     
  4. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ah, o.k.

    But it seems clear that he should be just fine with it if/when you Come Out to him!
     
  5. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's the part that gets me though. He once told me his view on the subject and I didn't agree with his opinions..Maybe he changed or at least accepted me. I guess we won't know until I tell him, which I am not even going to attempt until I find a place in a decent area that I can afford so I don't risk getting thrown out if I end up being wrong.
     
  6. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hmmm... I get you, PrinceVegeta!

    All I can say is that most times when someone has certain 'negative' views about LGBTQ people, they often make an enormous exception - and then start to modify their overall view(s)- when they find out that someone close to them is LGBTQ.

    Of course, I can't say if your brother will change his views if/when you Come Out to him, but it seems pretty likely that he won't alter his acceptance of you and that would most likely tend to temper and change his view of LGBTQ people, in general, over the longrun.

    Just my 2cents.:slight_smile:
     
  7. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Man, my mind must be really clouded because of ho nervous I am.. I kpet myself closed off about this to anyone since I was 8 because I felt there was something terribly wrong with me, and I was afraid I would be disowned. But what you just said.. I remember when I got my first pet snake.. My brother was deathly afraid of snakes.. but once he saw how I was with my pet.. he lightened up more towards snakes. I now feel a sense of hope.. Again, saving any coming out status until I feel like I am in a safer living situation for that plan b type of thing.
     
  8. DoriaN

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,106
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Canada
    It sounds like he knows.
     
  9. Rickystarr

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,054
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Kansas City
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Either he knows or he just sees you as more guyish, but still a girl. You'd be surprised at how much people can ignore or chalk up to being non comforming. My sister has always treated me more like a guy, but she was still a tiny bit surprised when I told her.

    I think quantumreality makes a really good point.
     
    #9 Rickystarr, Jan 24, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2017
  10. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think Quantumreality and Patrick are making good points. My parents and friends immadiatelly changed their minds after I told them, because if they know you as a person first and as someone trans second, then it humanises the scary Unknown, and they got a different perspective, really. Also, he might be seeing you as a guyish girl, cis people don't normally suspect someone is trans, although they frequently see something is going on.
     
  11. Morse Code

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2014
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    A lot of people use "bro" and "dude" with everybody, it doesn't always mean something. :thumbsup:
     
  12. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Actually... He confronted me about it today... the other people were right.. He felt something was going on.. And he finally approached me about it. He told me he was always aware there was something with me, he just couldn't quite put the name to it.
    YOU GUYSSSS. Because of this, I felt it was the right opportunity to tell him. He was so fucking open with it. I have such a huge relief now. My brother accepts me and still loves me and I was feeling so nervous over nothing. This makes me feel much better about telling my parents now just because my brother accepted it.
     
  13. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's great! :slight_smile:
     
  14. Zoe Izumi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2015
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    That is awesome!
     
  15. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That is cool
     
  16. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It is and so very unexpected! *hugs everyone* I am so fucking happy you guys.
     
  17. Hats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    *Does the happy huggy dance*
     
  18. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
  19. DoriaN

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,106
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Canada