Is Sexuality Really That Fluid?

Yes sexuality is that fluid. I have days where I go "well obviously i'm just bisexual", "who know's maybe i'm just bicurious" and then other moments were i'm like "nope I'm hella gay". I have no problem with the idea of me being gay but how I feel about my sexuality is indeed very fluid.

 

it's a spectrum. few are wholly gay or straight.

 

Yes, this happens very occasionally, at the moment however I find the thought of doing anything with a woman repulsive.

 

That's the way I felt too in my teens and up to my late twenties. (about doing something sexually with men) I probably still feel that way about men in general. I've never felt that way about women. (except maybe Ann Coulter :lol: )

 

Lisa Diamond wrote a book called: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire. I'd recommend it. I have known (other than myself) three women who have danced around on the Kinsey scale. One believed she was a lesbian until she met her current husband: they've been married for almost nine years now.

 

For me it is

 

In my case it's not enough to talk about really, just a minor "mood" every blue moon or so where I'm almost bisexual but still really gay. But then it wears off in like two days. I blame hormone level shifts personally but it could be something else.

I suppose it could vary in more extreme cases, but for me it's about as notable as the hole in the wall left by a thumb tack, it's definitely there, albeit tiny and miniscule.

 

In general I found the book to be an interesting read. The main problem I had was how the far right homophobic Christians misuse books like this to imply that sexuality is just merely a choice (which the book never implied) not hard wired. Just because sexual desire may change for some people doesn't mean it changed by mere choice of the person. I never chose my current feelings, in fact I was distressed by them at first.

I believe basic sexuality may be hard wired, but that doesn't mean it's hard wired just straight or gay for everyone. If you want to compare it to electrical wiring, for some people it may be like a dial instead of a switch. That doesn't mean it's a dial that is controlled by the person however, more like a sensor switch or a thermostat that responds to certain conditions. I also believe that there are other factors that possibly enter into it for some people, perhaps hormonal or biochemical factors.

 

I think for most people it isn't really that fluid.

 

You see, I often think I'm gay but the idea I'm bisexual always jumps back and forth into my mind on a pretty daily basis. The idea that I'm straight comes on the rare occasion. I would like to settle on gay because the prospect of really being with a man I'd starting to see uncomfortable to me on various levels. Firstly ive had a few kisses with random guys and they were very awkard and not at all enjoyable to the point that I kept wondering why I had to do this. Secondly, I love manly things, experimenting with my masculinity, being a fun tomboy, being mates with guys, and I dunno I feel like the dynamics of a straight relationship often make me feel sort of uncomfortable. Like I want to be the one in their role more?

 

I would say sexuality is fluid in terms of self-perception. I think many people assume they are straight by default and as they reach past puberty and realize they may be attracted to the same sex. This may lead to the belief they are bisexual, still holding on to the belief they are straight, and may progress to being homosexual. Of course, there are also people who are bisexual and not "bisexual" in a transitory stage towards realizing they are gay and/or using it as a way to "soften" their coming out. Unfortunately, this leads many people to question if bisexuality is real (it is).

I would say that there is fluidity in qualities one finds attractive, which can temporarily make people who are bi question their orientation, even if their orientation is more rigid.