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Family won't accept me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Poot2, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. Poot2

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    Location:
    Phoenix
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    My family, including my extended family, are all homophobes and will never think that being gay is 'okay'. To make a long story short, I was hiding my relationship with my girlfriend from my family- and my mother found out. It did not end well, and she said the usual 'it's a phase' 'you don't know what you're talking about' 'you're too young to know you're a lesbian', etc. she forced me to break up with my girlfriend, although I have not, and I'm continuing to be with her despite my mothers wishes. I turn 18 in a little under a year and I'm worried what will happen when I try to leave my household. I plan on leaving my house, for my mother is emotionally abusive and would never accept this relationship I have with another girl. When I try to leave and move in with my girlfriend, I'm scared she will try to take me back or even contact the police or do something like that. Can she? I'm terrified she will take me away. I don't want her to change who I am, despite her wishes. Once I'm 18, I can legally live wherever I choose, right? I'm scared for the year to come.
     
  2. mirkku

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    Not a US resident here, but at 18 you can pretty much live wherever you want. You are responsible of your actions in front of the law, but you are also protected by it and can chose to move in with whoever you want, without the needed approval of your parents.

    If your mother harasses you to get back home then, once again, the law (and even a simple block of her number) can help you. Perhaps you moving in with your girlfriend and not returning your mother's call unless she accepted you, a condition you should express to her clearly, will make her understand that she is not being as supportive as she should be. Then, the ball is in your camp. That's the problem here, as often: this situation does not depends on you only. If she is not ready to change her mindset, there is not much you can do about it.

    Anyway, if your family is too close-minded on the subject, you might have to let go (of them, and of the bad feelings), as sad as it sounds. Please just rest assure that there isn't much further physical harm your mother can legally do if you move away once you turn 18.
     
  3. redstreak23

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    I understand what you are going through. Even though none of my family knows for sure, thy prob have a little bit of a suspessecion I have it a little tougher issue though I rely on my mum. But hopefully they will be more accepting in the future
     
  4. JonSomebody

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    In previous threads, I've shared some of my experiences with my family because just like yours, they are still to this day, homophobic and has not accepted me being a gay man. Under those circumstances, the best thing you could do for yourself once you've turned 18 years old is to move away and unfortunately, separate yourself from them. Honestly, for me, stepping out on my own was somewhat scary for me initially, but once I got adjusted and began to embrace everything, it was the best thing I could have done for myself because not only did I gain strength and wisdom but I also became very independent as well. In time, I even gotten to the place to respect my family's point of view although I did not agree with them. However, there are a lot of people still in the world that are very homophobic and you can't change their minds or their views on the matter. Therefore, you have to focus on you and making the best life for yourself.