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Coming out to Parents.. As Vegan?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SillyGoose, Jun 26, 2016.

  1. SillyGoose

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    Ignore the obvious hyperbole in the title...

    Anyway, I really want to be a vegan..
    I am completely disgusted by the manipulation of animals and I try to be as vegan as possible at school..
    I don't wear leather or wool and I don't eat honey or dairy (lactose intollerence) at my home..
    This is all small stuff that I do but I want to become fully vegan...
    Only problem : my parents...
    Firstly, it's inconvenient..
    They let me be vegetarian for a month but it was to much of a hassle for them to cook...
    Secondly, they think I'll be 'anorexic'..
    I have an unhealthily low bmi already and I miss the occasional meal and they don't want me to be too skinny..
    Thirdly, they just think it's stupid..
    I don't want to piss off my parents before I come out but I've tried to explain the ethical and health benefits of a vegan life...

    Any suggestions would be very much appreciate...
    Thanks dearly, Silly Goose
     
  2. rudysteiner

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    Hey, I'd start small. I was vegan for a little while, and I started by drinking non-dairy milk (which you already do, presumably, being lactose intolerance) and I got rid of the whole dairy food group, which you've already done anyway. You're at an advantage there.

    You can also get vegan cookies/snacks/brownies/etc. from nutritional stores or online/Amazon. My personal favourite vegan snacks are Lenny's and Larry's cookies and brownies, and I still eat them now, as well as still drinking soy milk. I haven't drank actual milk in almost 18 months. You can find all sorts of nice vegan snacks to enjoy. I didn't see your location, but in the UK, we have Holland & Barrett, which has tonnes of stuff for vegans/vegetarians. There'll most likely be a US equivalent if you're in the US.

    I'd start very small, and then build up to full vegan so it's hardly noticeable. Just don't go cold turkey. (Pardon the pun).

    ----

    Sorry, just seen you're in England. Go to Holland & Barrett. They have loads of pre-prepared meals for you to eat, and then you can take ideas from them and go your own way with your own cooking. And explain to your parents that vegans don't just eat nuts, seeds, fruits, and don't just drink water.
     
    #2 rudysteiner, Jun 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2016
  3. kobra kid

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    Well I can't say too much, but if the mistreatment of animals angle isn't working, you could use the environment angle if they feel strongly enough about the environment. Vegansim (as well as just vegetarianism) saves massive amounts of plants, since the energy doesn't have to go through another animal first, meaning you need a smaller amount of producers to sustain you than if you ate meat.

    I also think there's plenty of evidence to show that people who don't eat meat have a lower risk for certain health problems, so do your research on that and make them feel guilty for encouraging an unhealthy lifestyle. Maybe don't say that, but you get my point. Just be like, "do you not want me to develop healthy eating habits?"

    Umm, you could offer to cook some of your own meals or get a job to help pay for vegan food if that's an issue.

    As for the anorexic thing, I'm not sure there's much advice for me to give beyond proving to them through your actions that you aren't at risk for that. You could research vegan meal plans and make one up for yourself to follow to make sure you get enough food and nutrients.
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    I have some considerations:

    If you want to be a vegetarian in a home with people that aren't vegetarian, then it is fair that you cook your own meals.

    It may seem a little thing, but, if your parents (or one of them) already need to cook for everyone in the house, it isn't fair to give them another task (cooking vegetarian meals), unless they are ok with it. If they are ok with it, then no problem, of course, but this doesn't seem to be case, considering what you just said in this first point.

    But, as i said, this can be easily solved if you cook them.
    It is possible to be healthy and vegetarian. However, be careful: There are lots of myths and stupid diets who don't work, created by people that are fanatic about this ideology.

    If you are following a vegetarian diet, be sure that it is healthy and that there are studies who support the diet you are following.

    However, if you are currently unhealthy, you may want to consider to continue eating meat, at least until you have a stable BMI.

    If you can't stand meat and you really want to enter a vegetarian diet now, you should see your doctor and nutritionist, so they can help you with this. Otherwise, you will risk damaging your health, if you follow internet diets and that sort of thing, like i said.

    Personally, i see more problems with vegan life than solutions, but, of course, there are many people who disagree with me.

    If you follow a diet with the help of a nutritionist, it is possible to be a healthy vegetarian. Again, speaking with your doctor/nutritionist may help you to talk to your parents about this subject.

    But, i repeat, please be careful with diets you find on the internet or magazines. I'm not speaking against vegetarians here, but, as humans are naturally omnivores, and considering that, unfortunately, we have many people spreading misinformation about this subject, the safest thing to do is to consult a nutritionist, so you can obtain a safe and healthy vegetarian diet for you.
     
  5. ChameleonSoul

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    As a person who's been vegan for several years, I want to welcome you to our cult...

    But in all seriousness, while being vegan is a perfectly healthy and sustainable lifestyle it can be harmful if you don't do it properly. I noticed that you said that you have a very low BMI. One of the great things about being vegan is that (from my own experiences) is that your body will adjust yourself towards a healthy weight, whether that be by gaining or losing weight. The unfortunate downside to eating vegan is that you have to pay extra attention to the amount of nutrients that you consume (such as iron, vitamin B12, and iodine) as they can be hard to get from foods other than animal products. I would personally going the route of taking supplements to be safe but if you can all of these nutritional requirements without them you should be fine.

    Another thing that is pretty much essential for going vegan as a teenager is to learn how to cook your own meals. At first it can be difficult as you need to learn to work in a different way to make the foods you grew up loving. But despite what most people say about vegan cooking being this long, complicated process, it usually ends up being the same processes as non-vegan cooking. A quick Google search will show that there are plenty of delicious and easy recipes available for usually less than what it costs to make the original animal product-laced version.

    As for your parents, they are probably just wanting you to be the healthiest and happiest person you can be. It's likely that they've been bought into the belief that we're all these crazy cultists who go around force feeding people tofu. Just like any other people, they don't want to hear that they've unknowingly been causing suffering in the name of convenience or preference. The best thing that I could recommend for this issue is to show them examples of vegans that live happy, healthy lives. The place that I would recommend looking is for vegan advocacy channels on any major video sharing site. The only thing that I would caution while doing this is to watch the channel and see what they're about. If they're all about spreading the vegan message through violence or they promote unhealthy fad diets that just happen to be vegan for example, think about if this is how you want your family to see it.

    I'd also be happy to give you links to any resources on information you may need . If you'd like to see some of it or just want more advice, feel free to PM me.
     
  6. alittlemore

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    Hey,

    I don't have much more to say than what people have already said... just that it's really good and brave of you to want to 'come out' to your family, but it's also important to not rely on their understanding and patience to follow your choices. I'm in my 20s, I've been vegetarian for several years and vegan for about three months, and my dad still tries to make me eat meat. It's not nice when your family doesn't support you, but as long as you remember why you want to be vegan and take care of yourself (hopefully with some sound nutritional advice), you will be fine. And who knows, you might even get them to come around - my mum is nearly vegan already!

    Good luck with everything (*hug*)
     
  7. Invidia

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    When I went vegan, I started cooking myself. I sucked at cooking first, but now I find it enjoyable.

    Yeah, you can take it step by step. Me, I just cried my eyes out to a PETA video, then I was like "f*** it", ate all the non-vegan food I had (I hate waste), and didn't eat anything from an animal again (although there have been exceptions when I have been all out of money. I'm not a lifestyleist - if it's a choice between starving and eating an egg, I'll eat the egg.)
     
  8. candyjiru

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    My parents *love* meat and have to have it in every meal... but once I started cooking for myself or asking my parents to let me have more sides instead of the meat, and I actually didn't eat the meat they gave me, so it went to waste... they realized they had to... They still ask me to this day "are you still on that stupid vegan thing?" whenever I come to visit XD;;;; But hey, whenever they make steaks, I can just have a huge baked potato *.*

    (they also really hated whenever I said "I'm not really in the mood to eat menstruation" and such like that~ I was such a smart@ss as a kid, haha)
     
  9. SillyGoose

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    Thanks for all advice everyone :ap
     
  10. SillyGoose

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    Ban news.. My mother doesn't like it...

    ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2016 at 07:27 PM ----------

    She got very angry
     
  11. SpaceOddity

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    Haaaaaay. I've been vegan for four years. I started off as a vegetarian and slowly transitioned. Definitely prepare your own meals.

    Secondly, if you have a low BMI that's fine. What matters is is it it unnaturally low for your height and gender. Get some blood work done if you're worried. Regardless if you do or don't and if people say to you, "Well where do you get your protein?" Kindly remind them PLANTS HAVE PROTEIN.

    Make sure your diet consists frequently of things such as beans and lentils and other legumessss. Eat a lot of geens. That way your iron and protein levels will be good and haters can fuck off.

    If your parents don't understand which they appear to not, well... there's not too much your can do about that. If they're open enough to watch something about it, there's a very non-biased documentary entitled Vegucated you should show them. It, thankfully, has nothing to do with PETA, has no shock-and-awe horror to try and guilt anyone into not eating meat. It's just facts. Facts can't be denied.

    Hope that helps.
     
    #11 SpaceOddity, Jun 27, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2016
  12. theskylitup

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    My mom doesn't really care I just have to cook for myself. I would try using Cronometer and putting in some of the things you plan on eating and it'll give the nutritional breakdown of everything, just to help prove that you will definitely be healthy as a vegan. Trying watching Forks Over Knives or Vegucated (which was mentioned in the post above) with them. They're both available on Netflix I believe.
    As for cooking your own meals, it was much of a struggle for me, but there are SO MANY vegan youtube accounts with recipes and stuff (CookingWithPlants is queen) and that really helps. Eventually you'll get the hang of it. I'm not even going to bring up all the cooking fails I had during the first few months lol.
    Wishing you the best!
     
  13. everycloud

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    I really admire the fact that you want to do this and the fact that you have taken several steps to achieve it already!! I really care for animal welfare too and I try not to eat too much and when I do I try and consider the ethics of where the food comes from. That being said I am not perfect and do struggle to always live up to my values!!

    Anyway... Firstly, I think it is important research about the foods you should be eating in order to make up for the lack of protein you are now missing in your diet. Think beans and nuts!! So good for you, really filling and full of protein.

    I think to gain the understanding of your parents you need to make sure you eat regularly so they don't associate being vegan with an unhealthy attitude towards food.
    Go shopping with them and encourage them to buy alternative products. Buy a cook book so you can find recipes that you can all enjoy. Start cooking yourself to take the pressure off your parents and to show them you are serious. Making meals that can be adapted to both vegan and meat eaters maybe easier to begin with so perhaps some research on this? Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  14. Kira

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    Are your parents Bosmer or something? Seriously, I can't wrap my head around how this could be an issue to anyone not in the middle of some "green pact" or secretly living as a venus flytrap. :rolle:

    I don't know, it doesn't make any sense to me why anyone would be angry over it. If anything you're helping them save on food costs.
     
  15. candyjiru

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    My parents were angry and still give me attitude about it... I think it's more like they feel like, "What? Are you too good for my food/ lifestyle?" It really sucks but if you start cooking for yourself, showing them how cheap your food can be (A huge sweet potato with salsa? Yes, please~ A bowl of fried rice with steamed veggies from the freezer? Again, yes~~ the possibilities are endless), I think they'll still be upset, but maybe they'll at least let you do it and think it's a phase you're going to outgrow (and when you don't, it will be too late~ bwahahaha) ^.^
     
  16. UncertainTea123

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    I think there have been a lot of good advice on here already. I've been a vegetarian for years now (planning to one day go full vegan) and I'd just add two suggestions. 1 - maybe you could offer to make a meal for the whole family. I know plenty of people who, for some reason, expect all vegetarian/vegan meals to be bad (as if all we ate was iceberg lettuce or something). It's fun to offer a meal to others, and only later reveal that it actually contains no animal products. 2- this may go against your beliefs and if so feel free to disregard it... I'd say also be mindful of how you discuss your choice with your parents. I feel like a lot of people get defensive when they hear others are vegetarian/vegan because the implies that eating meat, what others are choosing to do, is wrong. People get defensive very easily. I've found that people are more receptive when I make it clear that my choices are just - choices I've made that work for me. But I know that some would feel it's important to work at changing the way we eat as a society so if this is you, as I mentioned, feel free to disregard (though I do also feel like people are open to change more when they aren't being pushed to change).

    Good luck!
     
  17. Bergamot

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    My wife is vegan, as was I for two years. She gets a lot of crap from people for it but I respect her lifestyle and I do not bring non-vegan items into our home. It's no skin off my nose. I'm not really sure how to cook meat properly anyway. The personal care products are a bit trickier because I have to make sure I remember to read the ingredients. She is also very generous in the sense that she doesn't get upset if I roll into the house with a jar of honey (our friends have an apiary). I have, however, recently received a comment from a mutual friend of ours, that wine can be vegan or not. Can anyone explain this to me? I have also heard that some wines are certified gluten free. How is wine not gluten free or vegan straight out of the gate? I'm no longer vegan and I will never be gluten free but I am curious about this news.
     
  18. Dingdang

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    Graduality is the key. Your body and lifestyle has to adapt little by little.

    I eat meat, but my diet approaches vegetarian, mainly because I simply don't like the taste of meat and because swallowing meat is painful due to GERD. Anyway, I started eating less meat gradually, as certain health problems may develop if you change too suddenly.

    Have a nice day!