I know that asgender or androgyny people prefer to be called "they" or "them," but those are not grammatically correct. They and them are plural. I've heard of them going by xe, or something like that, but idk how to pronounce that.
'They' and 'them' aren't necessarily plural, though. It's constantly used in singular context when gender is left out of the equation for whatever reason. You can make the same case for if someone simply doesn't identify as male or female. (Ex: Someone tells you, without specifying gender, that their(<--- hmm) friend is sick. What are you most likely to use in that situation when asking about the friend? Chances are you're going to ask 'How are they doing?' rather than 'How is -he or she- doing?') In a sense, you can consider it a homonym.
They and them are not actually plural pronouns though. This is something g that many people believe, but generally is not true. If you think about it, there are a few instances where they is used as a singular pronoun.
Yup, seems that even Shakespeare used it like that, so it must be true:icon_wink. But then, why is it so important to be grammatically correct anyway? If you use new pronouns like ze/hir, xe, ey... that's all not regular grammar either. So personally, I don't care. When those grammatical rules were made, people were not as aware of the need of gender-sensitive language. Now some of use are, so obviously, grammar needs to change. GenderSciFi
I think it's best if you ask the individual themselves what they'd prefer to be called. If it's "They"/"Them" then I suppose you'll just have to make it happen, regardless of how you feel about it.
FIFY. This is not universally true. I have no preference, he, she, they are all fine, as long as you treat me with respect. I have no attachment to any particular pronoun.
Agreed. I prefer my name, but hell I've been called every damn thing. I have no strong dislike for being gendered in calling.
...Besides, claiming "they" and "them" can't be used in the singular is completely debunked by the simple fact that they're used that way. Grammar isn't decided by any individual. Saying "they" and "them" can't be used to refer to a single person is as nonsensical as saying whales sing wrong. And yes, that adverb modifying "sing" does not have the suffix "ly", and is still functioning as an adverb. Basically, grammar to a linguist is just how a language works, as determined by observation, not going in with any preconceived notions of how the language "should" work. There are no value judgements on correctness, and what correctness in a language truly is is far broader than most people realize.
They is used singular, though...When one doesn't know the gender of someone, they seems to be used... Like "I'm going to the mall with my friend" "Have fun with them" Or, "I wanted you to meet my new partner" "Oh, are they going to like me?" I don't know, something like that. It pops up in conversation a lot and makes a good gender-neutral pronoun. You can't refer to someone gender neutrally in any other common way. "It" is for objects, and "he/she" are mostly gendered pronouns, so "they" seems to work the best. I'm not entirely sure on the grammatical correctness...but it seems to work pretty well!
I started going aboard the xe/xir train when more people started to identify as non-binary, in hopes that would end up being the more universal approach. The "they" route seems to be where people are going, and if that's what people are going to associate with androgyny, then that'll be what I go with.
Same. I don't care what pronouns people use for me, they're all equally wrong. I'm biologically female so I actually only get called she/her but if I got called something else I wouldn't care. Hell, I don't even get called my actual name half the time. My parents go through both my sisters' names, my brother's name and our dog's name before getting to mine. I also answer to 'mum', 'mummy' and Lala on occasion.
