"Sir", "Ma'am", "Miss" and people's names

I have no idea what you mean by any of this.

Are you suggesting that we abandon all forms of common civility and etiquette, just because we are gay or when someone wears strong cologne/perfume? I am genuinely baffled.

Where I come from "Sir" and "Ma'am" are gestures of respect toward another individual. That's it. There is no hidden motive, agenda, message, or anything else. It is literally no different than saying "please" or "thank you" -- there is no "demand [for] rigid compliance" -- they are just common and respectful manners. Your words do not make sense to me at all.

 

Despite that I'll probably lose points for not being 'old enough', I'd rather someone wave me down with an 'excuse me' instead of 'sir/ma'am', even if I wouldn't be offended by the latter. It can be even more respectful in some situations if you ask me, because you're less likely to have to deal with 'assumption backlash'.

And what if there are numerous men or women around in a situation you put out?

You imply that someone shouldn't get all offended and dramatic if referred to as 'sir' or 'ma'am'(as something like it should be the "least of your worries") but for some reason have to basically shoot down another phrase that is often enough used in just as respectful of a way? You feeling it is not to be used in such a situation doesn't make it any less valid an option.

It's not that I wouldn't ever use 'sir'/'ma'am' either(because I agree with it being used for someone in higher up positions, etc.) but I use '(hey) excuse me' all the time, as a general thing, and have no problem getting someone's attention, nor have I had anyone act as if it was some out-of-place substitute.

 

Hi,

What I am saying is "when in Rome observe local custom".

You come to Boston and local eople will not say anything, but you Sir and Ma'am them it is simply "unusual". I do not like it personally. It comes off poorly locally.

When in Rome...

 

That makes more sense.

Can you explain why you personally and others further north take it so personally? Is it because it makes them feel old? Because from my perspective it seems like such a tiny thing (that is obviously intended to be generous and respectful) to get upset about. Yet, oddly, people seem to have strong emotions over it. It is not simply an age related thing, is it? :icon_razz

 

Hi,

Some consider ma'am same as "hey grandma". Some think "military rank" for sir.

Not the same meaning everywhere.

It is not personal feeling but local/regional meaning.

If I wanted to insult a Boston woman I would ma'am her. Miss is acceptable.

 

Dear MisterSparkles :

I'm so glad you wrote this, I think that the younger generation could use a good lesson in polite manners.

But, remember, ( Oh god, now I'm sounding just like my grandmother, and my
mother ) we grew up respecting our elders by calling them " ma'am " and " sir ",
these were signs of RESPECT. I still address people by these terms of respect, as for
calling people by abbreviated first names, this is only to be done with the person you are addressing's permission, because, otherwise people get offended.

As for myself, since I no longer wish to be recognized as belonging to the male gender, I never again want to be referred to as " sir ", or " Mister ", I think these references are degrading .

And, as for not doing things nice for people, there are still those who do appreciate
well-intentions. As for the other snobs of this society, who do not\ appreciate your good intentions, if I can't say anything nice about them, I won't say anything at all.

Jaymegurl