Ok, so basically I'm new here and need someone to talk to. I am 13, not all that popular at my school, and not that attractive. AT ALL. So I'm bisexual, but regardless of whether I like a girl or guy, I would always silence it with an "oh they'd never like me back anyway, better just forget it." (In case you can't tell I don't have the best self esteem.) I am not very good at sports, and am really skinny. At my school of 1000, there's not one out LGBT student. Now I like a guy at my school, and normally I'd. Dismiss it b/c even if he was gay/bi he would NEVER like a guy like me. But N is different. When I like a guy, I look for basically what I don't have. A nice personality. Kindness to basically everyone. Intelligence, though that I have, and a nice body. Now, N is all of this. He is very popular, but nice to everyone in school and listens to everyone. He has a very nice personality, with a good sense of humor and interesting things to contribute. He is REALLY smart, teachers love him, and he always gets straight A's. He often wins awards for contributing the most and stuff like that. And then, there's that body. He is very tall, about 6 feet tall, whereas I am only 5'3". He swims very seriously, and is in the top 100 or so nationally. He runs track, and is really fast. He can do almost any sport with ease. This all leads to him being...fairly attractive. Nice pecs, abs, cutest smile+haircut, broad shoulders, strong, muscular arms and legs, deep voice. And I get to see this work of art. In the locker room. Every day. In underwear. Most importantly, he never catcalls girls, makes misogynistic jokes, or sex industry jokes, unlike most guys in my school. I've tried forgetting him, but I love him too much. Now I know I have no chance with him romantically, but I would like to be more of his friend, as we barely know eachother now. Any advice on how?
sounds like one of my animes... lol jk well... at my school of 400 there are 120 in my class and i am the only gay. There are plenty of bisexuals however. (choices yay!~) Try to become friends with him. Then if you do and you trust him, come out. I'd wait a bit to get to know him better before you say you like him OR come out to him. Good luck!~ ^.^
Thanks for the reply, rubix143. I realize my post kinda went all over the place, but I really needed to let out some bottled up feels. Since the few who I have come out too so far are straight, I don't really have people to talk to about this. And you're totally right on not coming out to him yet, but I think if I manage to become closer friends with him, I will at least tell him my orientation.
Ok, so we're much better friends now, and I want to see him outside of school. What's a good way to do so/place to do so/way of asking to do so?
Expressing your feels toward him is the only way for him to open up to you because you have entrusted him with your sexual orientation, however if you are not ready to come out to him, getting closer to him is the only other option and maybe he will open up to you (if he is gay). But you must face the cold hard facts that he may not be gay or bisexual, as a majority of people are straight, but never get your hopes down! Make sure to always love yourself before others and don't do things you don't want to do! EVER! I wish you the best!
Thank you all for the advice! I have not told him yet of my orientation, but I hope to soon, and am prepared that he is almost certainly straight, but he has such an infectious personality that I would love to just be friends, but if he was gay/bi that'd be good too.
Hmmm, invite him to do something outside of school. Could be a study session at your house, or like going to see a film or something. If you're really worried about it being just you and him, you could invite one other friend as well just so it feels a bit more comfortable. But you can still use that time to get to know this kid better Good luck!
SaharaMoose: I will! WhiteShadows: We don't have any mutual friends, which could be a problem, and I kinda don't want to seem desperate for friendship by asking him to hang out outside of school, as we are better friends, but still not great friends. I know this makes me not able to do much, but I think in a few weeks once we are even better friends (we sit close to each other in 2 classes, as our last names start with the same letter, so we talk) though i'll be able to ask him to do something outside of school with me, like studying.
Get to know him better first. You talk highly of him. Find out about his favourite movies/activities/etc. so you can equip yourself for conversation he'll enjoy. When you feel comfortable enough, ask if he would like to do something after school one day - if you can give an exact place, date, etc. then that would make it easier for him to make a decision. I read that you're thinking of telling him you love him.. Don't do that. Telling someone you love them is a big step, one that even I realise probably shouldn't be said so soon, even after knowing the guy I'm in a relationship for about 3 months and being in a relationship for just over a month. It's easy to say it now because you only see his good side, if you can get to know him more and see his not so good sides (everyone has them) and still feel it, then say it. In terms of sparking a relationship, the best routine to follow (I think) is to become friends, bring up LGBT related topics like news or thoughts on certain issues surrounding being gay, depending on how that goes try flirting a little to see how he responds, if that goes well then gradually flirt more and more and then if it's going well, ask to go out with him. Take it slowly and don't expect anything, just play it by ear. Prepare for the fact that he might not be gay and therefore unable to reciprocate your feelings.
Sek: Thank you for the advice, and that's sorta what I was going to do. I am definitely going to take things slow, and only even come out to him much later in the friendship, and only then MAYBE tell him how I feel. Like I said in a previous post, i'm almost 100% sure he's straight, but just being his friend would be nice. And as you say, I have begun to notice some bad sides to his personality, which actually makes me feel better as it was a little frustrating how seemingly perfect he was.
