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Before Coming Out to Your Parents....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by beckyg, Dec 3, 2007.

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  1. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    #1 beckyg, Dec 3, 2007
  2. damagedone

    damagedone
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    #2 damagedone, Apr 17, 2008
  3. jpw062588

    jpw062588
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    i wish someone would tell me what i should actually say to my parents

    i feel like i need a script
     
    #3 jpw062588, May 8, 2008
  4. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak
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    yeah, i live w. my mom and she knows that i go out every thursday night and that i stay ourt really really late and she always asks like who i'm with and stuff. and i've been dating my girlfriend for a while now. and i don't know what to.
     
    #4 theaterfreak, May 13, 2008
  5. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    You say:

    "Mom and Dad..............
    I have something very important to tell you. This is very hard and its very scary. I'm really afraid that it might somehow change your feelings for me in some way but I want you to know that I love you very much. I never want to hurt you in any way. I'm telling you this because I love you and I want you to know the truth about me. This is not something that happened overnight. It is something that I've known for a long time. It is something that I've struggled with for a long time. It is not a phase. It is who I am. It is what makes me happy and whole inside. I am still the same person but I am gay. I promise that I will always take care of my health. I will answer any questions that you have of me. I will find you resources and support if you need that. I want you to understand me and who I am and that is why I'm telling you this. (*hug*) "

    Something like that.....does that help?
     
    #5 beckyg, May 14, 2008
    Joelle b, sublimeprincess, closeted13 and 1 other person like this.
  6. Adryen

    Adryen Guest

    im having a really hard time trying to tell my dad. he's in the marines and has that marine mentality. we're close and i don't want him to hate me. he freaks out if i wear the color pink or put bows in my hair. ahh, help.
     
    #6 Adryen, May 14, 2008
  7. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    You can print some of the PFLAG publications for him under Support and Advice. Your Daughters and Sons is a good one. Or if you want, I can mail them to you to give to him.
     
    #7 beckyg, May 14, 2008
  8. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak
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    can't i just print the "our daughters and sons" thing out and leave it for my mom to find and hope she figures it out?
     
    #8 theaterfreak, May 14, 2008
  9. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    You could. :slight_smile:
     
    #9 beckyg, May 14, 2008
  10. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak
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    i have never very close with anybody in my family. i have an amazing group of friends that over the years have become my family and i'm really close with them. but lately my mom has been realy trying to make up for her mistakes and she really wants us to be close. but i don't feel that i can be with huge secret that i have to keep from her. does that make any sense at all?
     
    #10 theaterfreak, May 14, 2008
  11. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    Yes, that makes alot of sense. My son and I became much more closer after he came out. His father and him did as well. I say, just do it! :slight_smile:
     
    #11 beckyg, May 14, 2008
  12. imsogoodatbass

    imsogoodatbass
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    i dont think my problem is so much worrying about the acceptance, its more just the huge change in relationship with my mom
     
    #12 imsogoodatbass, May 21, 2008
  13. slcdeadhead

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    I came out to my mom first, I think she knew all along, it was hard for her at first but now she accepts it. I came out to my dad a few days later, he still doesn't believe me . . . its been over 2 years.
     
    #13 slcdeadhead, May 28, 2008
  14. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak
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    i told my mom. actually i told her about a week ago, and she is still getting used to the idea. i think. she has her good days and her bad. but i think she'll be ok. she knew my girlfriend before she knew exactly who she was. and it's just a really big idea for her to get her head around. i'm trying to understand and be patient. i sound alot more put together on here than what's really going on. but i's a work in progress.
     
    #14 theaterfreak, May 30, 2008
  15. Trent13

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    Very good if i could remember it all maybe i could write soem dot points on my hand ..
     
    #15 Trent13, Jun 6, 2008
  16. sweetpinkmelon

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    i'm happy for you, in choosing to tell to your parents about how you truly feel. i have no courage to do such courageous act. but i've already come out to my close friends, classmates, and even my close relatives. the only people i haven't told personally about how i feel is my family. i'm thinking that my parents and brothers already know it, since i grew up with them. do you think i should still personally tell them even though, in my observation they already know?
     
    #16 sweetpinkmelon, Jun 7, 2008
  17. Prairie Boi

    Prairie Boi
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    #17 Prairie Boi, Jun 7, 2008
  18. SpiceGirlsAloud

    SpiceGirlsAloud
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    The HRC fact sheets really helped me prepare
     
    #18 SpiceGirlsAloud, Jun 11, 2008
  19. Pimmie

    Pimmie
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    How you know when it is right time to come out? Or you just knew? Just curious...
     
    #19 Pimmie, Jun 14, 2008
  20. nemo

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    my dad is super homophobic

    There is a gay only park nearby and he won't even drive down that street!
    he would rather go ten miles around.

    I don't know if I will ever be ready.
    What do I do?
     
    #20 nemo, Jun 18, 2008
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