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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 2nd Jan 2011, 06:58 PM   #1
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Default Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

I really have not had more than a few invalid relationships over the years. I am generally not very sociable, either. I do tend to get along with people when given the opportunity and can generally keep the conversation going to some extent.

My question is what are some good methods to meet gay guys? I truly hate bars and just don't / have really never drank much. I like the idea of meeting someone special in a hobby situation doing something we both enjoy...but where to start?! I live in the Los Angeles / Santa Monica area so there should be a fair amount at my finger tips.

I came out over the month of December. Most everyone was told in about 2 weeks and then the info filtered to around 100 people total. I was pleased with how quickly the news spread and also how everyone was fully and completely positive. The worst part of all now is that I feel a hint of depression, wanting a good boyfriend and solid relationship to at least be in the process of starting. In a lot of ways I feel inexperienced in meeting people but am hopeful since seeking guys will be so much more natural.

Some good starting points would be great! At one point I contemplated finding a gay/lesbian friend to be a dating partner because it seems like that would make everything more comfortable for me.
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Old 2nd Jan 2011, 07:13 PM   #2
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

You can try online sites, I dont know if i am allowed to post them here but if you want you can send me a wall post and i can reply with them. A large percent of couples are now meeting online so it should be a great way to start.
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Old 2nd Jan 2011, 07:38 PM   #3
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

Hi there! I think one good place to meet others would be at a LGBT support or social group. Maybe try doing a few searches online and see what comes up.

Another things you could try is joining social coffee groups or some LGBT social events. I'm pretty sure that Los Angeles has some regular events and/or meet ups for LGBTs.

You could also try joining PFLAG, which would also be a good way to meet new people.

In trying to meet and get to know others, you would also allow yourself to become more comfortable with social situations.
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Old 2nd Jan 2011, 07:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

Yeah, LA has tons of groups. Just do an online search for the sorts of things you like, with the words "gay" and "los angeles" attached. Gay volleyball league? Gay biking club? Gay volunteer organizations? They're all available.

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Old 2nd Jan 2011, 11:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

Or just wherever you meet straight people! Gay people are pretty much everywhere, so if you do things which involve people, you're bound to meet some along the way. I sure have!
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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 04:23 AM   #6
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

I personally don't like the idea of "gay" clubs, like gay football clubs or gay biking clubs.

But, there are a lot of things/clubs/societies which aren't explicitly "gay" or "straight" but have a disproportionate amount of gay people. Maybe you could find one of these.
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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 07:51 AM   #7
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

While there are exceptions, unless you are simply looking for a quick hook-up, you probably won't find dating material at many gay clubs.
Fun people and pretty too look at, but most people there are not into finding a serious relationship...for more than the next few hours that is.
Not that I would know or anything.

With LA being the size that it is (and having such a large gay population) I would bet there are hundreds of organizations, groups, etc that you could look into. What ever your interests may be, I'm pretty sure they would have a group to cater to it. Try it out, won't do any harm to look and see what is out there

If you still feel a little inexperienced in meeting people, having a friend along when you are in new situations like that can add a little comfort for you...nothing wrong with having a good "wingman" so-to-speak.
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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 08:55 AM   #8
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

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Originally Posted by bamaboy View Post
While there are exceptions, unless you are simply looking for a quick hook-up, you probably won't find dating material at many gay clubs.
Haha, that's all I find at clubs. When I go to clubs (very occasionally) what I want is a quick hook up and all I've ever found is guys wanting relationships.
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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 11:48 AM   #9
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

I've heard people (gay and straight) say they met their partner through friends. Make some gay friends (by doing what the others suggested) and who knows what'll happen. Just don't "search" for a relationship. From what I've heard, it almost never works out. You just gotta let things happen.

---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2011 at 11:49 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostandFound View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by bamaboy View Post
While there are exceptions, unless you are simply looking for a quick hook-up, you probably won't find dating material at many gay clubs.
Haha, that's all I find at clubs. When I go to clubs (very occasionally) what I want is a quick hook up and all I've ever found is guys wanting relationships.
Awwwww isn't that sweet? Haha jk

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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 11:51 PM   #10
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

I'm going to try a multi-factored approach. Since I'm so new to this (really) but I also want something long term, then I'll try all that I can. I have had a nsa encounter and now know that what I really want is basically only LTR interests.

I'm thinking a combination of gay groups, searching and contacting dating site users, generally being more social and getting out there, along with staying alert for friends of friends or other opportunities.
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Old 3rd Jan 2011, 11:58 PM   #11
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

drama club I promise
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Old 4th Jan 2011, 12:11 AM   #12
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokerface View Post
drama club I promise
Here's to hoping this works out in my Musical Theatre class next semester.
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Old 4th Jan 2011, 05:19 AM   #13
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Default Re: Best places or ways to meet gay guys?

I've found drama guys are often more feminine. I actually participated in a bit of theater through HS and college, but I did technical components (lighting, sound, audio/video). I was not out or dating anyone then, though.
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