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Transgender Friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Stuie, Nov 5, 2009.

  1. Stuie

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    One of my friends just came out as transgender to me. Ultimately, it really explains A LOT. He's been having a whole stack of issues basically the entire time I've known him and I've really been almost his therapist. He's one of those people that when something is up with him, you can see it a mile off and this afternoon he was having one of his characteristic something's-up moods, so I bugged him a little about what was wrong, knowing basically that he's one of those people who's much better if they can get it out, so he took me into an empty classroom and he told me that he's transgender. I was somewhat surprised, especially considering that I'm the second person he's told.

    It was an extremely intense conversation and basically he told me that he feels he has four options.
    1. Kill himself
    2. Become a serial killer
    3. Transition
    4. Live an exceedingly unhappy life
    Three really is the only option I told him, as I wouldn't let him kill himself or anyone else and I couldn't bear to see someone live out their life that unhappily.

    So my question for you, EC, is where's the next step for him? He hasn't told his parents yet, but they're possibly some of the most oblivious people to ever live, so I'd imagine they'd be highly surprised if he did. It really is causing him a huge amount of unhappiness and I'd really like to see him in a better situation than he is now.

    So yes, advice and huge thanks for EC existing as I don't think I'd have made it through that conversation without here.
     
  2. Just Adam

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    this isnt my area of expertise but i would say

    first off welldone stu on beeing there and keep on beeing a great friend yay for support

    maybe direct your friend here? it can help and i would say parents but that can be really hard its one thing for a parent to get their head around you beeing gay but to say your not the correct gender and your not happy living ike this it can take time and alot of support for them

    i say keep doing what your doing and just be there :slight_smile:

    (*hug*)
     
  3. Eleanor Rigby

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    First thing congratulations Stuart ! You might have done a wonderful job making him feeling confident enought to come out to you.
    Now, as Amdam said, maybe you could direct your friend to EC. Talking with other transgender persons like Miles might help him to be more confident and to have an idea on how to start his transition.
    Living in a big city, there is maybe LGBT support group in your area that might help.
    (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  4. CrimsonThunder

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    What I dont understand was why one of his options was to become a serial killer? Sounds a bit strange...

    If I was in your shoes and having that convo I would be really scared (As you said it was intense)

    Well done on handeling the situation and just keep supporting him and helping him. (or her?) :slight_smile: