What Have I Done? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

goratrix · 21st Apr 2005, 03:36 PM

Ok, this proves it... I am officially stupid.

background (this will actually shorten the story): Ok, it's (as always) about this guy I have a crush on (I'll start calling him AC). We were between classes abot a week ago, and AC told me that he was participating in some dancing contest. I, of course, found this pretty funny... so I asked him where and when, so I could come. He wouldn't tell me. So, for the last week I've been asking him where and when, and he just won't answer.

Last night, befor my class (I was there watching another calss) when he finished with the class I started again: where and when? he wouldn't answer. After a few minutes of physical torture (just pressure on some nerves) he wouldn't crack. So I told him I would have to go the other way, and get the heavy artillery. He looked at me

(exact description of his face).

I told him that I would get this friend of mine (LM actually), she's studyin fisiotherapy, and she is great giving massages. And that she would crack him. After a few minutes of joking with that, I told him that If he couldn't wait that I would give him the massage myself (i'm actually pretty good). He was a little disgusted with the idea, and so I said: 'ok, I withdraw my offer for now. But in time, when you overcome your identity crisis, I'll offer you again, and you'll see what you missed'.

He wanted to know what I meant by identity crisis (I actually don't know... I was just talking, not thinking). So I had to make up a lame excuse that I had to go pick up somebody. It was obvious, almost in your face! obvious. He knew I would get back in less than 20 minutes (my class started then).

I actually went to pick a friend up, we are both on the same class, and I usualy take her back and forth from her house... so it wasn't weird.

But he actually waited for me, and asked me again. Obviously, by then I was able to make up better excuses, and then he had to go... but today I'm seeing him again... and I don't know what to do...

After thinking about this (and I should say that I spent almost all the night, and most of the day thinking about it) I concluded the following:

there are two options:

1. He's gay/bi, and me talking about an identity crisis touched him deeply, and he want's to know If I know and that's why he's being so insistent.

2. (most likely) He is clueless as to what I meant by identity crisis and he is curious as to why I mentioned it... and he just wants to understand... and since he saw right through my lame excuse, he might think that there is someting worth digging for... ohhh, if he only knew....XD

Well... any thoughts???

hawkeye · 21st Apr 2005, 04:38 PM

well, just to lend an excuse, the guy didn't want you to know where he was in the contest. so, he isn't accepting who he is, at least around you. like i said, its just an excuse, i cant really figure a solid ground response.

CryCrazy27 · 21st Apr 2005, 05:49 PM

eh, ever think he was serious in not wanting u or maybe other people at his contest. and u begging him must be frustrating to him....

lol and if i was in his position i would have immediately thought u were gay. great ol' gaydar. have fun! hope things work, dont try too hard man.

goratrix · 21st Apr 2005, 07:23 PM

Hmmm, I like your excuse Hawkeye... I'll make it a little deeper something like: if you were absolutely happy with yourself you wouldn't have a problem with us seeing you there.

CryCrazy.... yes, the thought has crossed my mind. Though it won't stop me...<insert evil laugh here>.

Oh, and I don't think he is that cunning to figure out i'm gay... at least I hope so.

Today he was colder with me. I think he was offended by me not telling him what I meant. But something really hit me. When I offered him to give him a ride home... he refused, and chose to walk. It's a two blocks walk, but still he never refused before, in fact he used to ask me to give him a ride. I don't want to read too much into it... but I know something's off... and I want to know what it is. I'll see him next tuesday, and well... I don't really know how, or what excuse I'll give him, but I'll try to talk to him and to get things right again... I still want him as a friend, even though I know nothing will happen.

Oh... once again I'm overthinking things...

*goes to a corner and starts crying*oh...AC...I'm sorry, please! forgive me *continues to cry*

21st Apr 2005, 03:36 PM	#1
goratrix EC Addict Full Member Age: 25 Posts: 570 Join Date: Apr 2005	What Have I Done? Ok, this proves it... I am officially stupid. background (this will actually shorten the story): Ok, it's (as always) about this guy I have a crush on (I'll start calling him AC). We were between classes abot a week ago, and AC told me that he was participating in some dancing contest. I, of course, found this pretty funny... so I asked him where and when, so I could come. He wouldn't tell me. So, for the last week I've been asking him where and when, and he just won't answer. Last night, befor my class (I was there watching another calss) when he finished with the class I started again: where and when? he wouldn't answer. After a few minutes of physical torture (just pressure on some nerves) he wouldn't crack. So I told him I would have to go the other way, and get the heavy artillery. He looked at me (exact description of his face). I told him that I would get this friend of mine (LM actually), she's studyin fisiotherapy, and she is great giving massages. And that she would crack him. After a few minutes of joking with that, I told him that If he couldn't wait that I would give him the massage myself (i'm actually pretty good). He was a little disgusted with the idea, and so I said: 'ok, I withdraw my offer for now. But in time, when you overcome your identity crisis, I'll offer you again, and you'll see what you missed'. He wanted to know what I meant by identity crisis (I actually don't know... I was just talking, not thinking). So I had to make up a lame excuse that I had to go pick up somebody. It was obvious, almost in your face! obvious. He knew I would get back in less than 20 minutes (my class started then). I actually went to pick a friend up, we are both on the same class, and I usualy take her back and forth from her house... so it wasn't weird. But he actually waited for me, and asked me again. Obviously, by then I was able to make up better excuses, and then he had to go... but today I'm seeing him again... and I don't know what to do... After thinking about this (and I should say that I spent almost all the night, and most of the day thinking about it) I concluded the following: there are two options: 1. He's gay/bi, and me talking about an identity crisis touched him deeply, and he want's to know If I know and that's why he's being so insistent. 2. (most likely) He is clueless as to what I meant by identity crisis and he is curious as to why I mentioned it... and he just wants to understand... and since he saw right through my lame excuse, he might think that there is someting worth digging for... ohhh, if he only knew....XD Well... any thoughts??? __________________ Cicciux Back from beyond. A different dog.

21st Apr 2005, 04:38 PM	#2
hawkeye EC Addict Regular Member Location: Wisconsin Age: 23 Posts: 278 Join Date: Mar 2005	well, just to lend an excuse, the guy didn't want you to know where he was in the contest. so, he isn't accepting who he is, at least around you. like i said, its just an excuse, i cant really figure a solid ground response. __________________ "I am what I am, and that is all that I am" Popeye

21st Apr 2005, 07:23 PM	#4
goratrix EC Addict Full Member Age: 25 Posts: 570 Join Date: Apr 2005	Hmmm, I like your excuse Hawkeye... I'll make it a little deeper something like: if you were absolutely happy with yourself you wouldn't have a problem with us seeing you there. CryCrazy.... yes, the thought has crossed my mind. Though it won't stop me...<insert evil laugh here>. Oh, and I don't think he is that cunning to figure out i'm gay... at least I hope so. Today he was colder with me. I think he was offended by me not telling him what I meant. But something really hit me. When I offered him to give him a ride home... he refused, and chose to walk. It's a two blocks walk, but still he never refused before, in fact he used to ask me to give him a ride. I don't want to read too much into it... but I know something's off... and I want to know what it is. I'll see him next tuesday, and well... I don't really know how, or what excuse I'll give him, but I'll try to talk to him and to get things right again... I still want him as a friend, even though I know nothing will happen. Oh... once again I'm overthinking things... goes to a corner and starts cryingoh...AC...I'm sorry, please! forgive me continues to cry __________________ Cicciux Back from beyond. A different dog.

21st Apr 2005, 05:49 PM	#3
CryCrazy27 Member Regular Member Location: MN Posts: 24 Join Date: Apr 2005	eh, ever think he was serious in not wanting u or maybe other people at his contest. and u begging him must be frustrating to him.... lol and if i was in his position i would have immediately thought u were gay. great ol' gaydar. have fun! hope things work, dont try too hard man.