should I wear I sign???

[goratrix]

Ok, people are officially and utterly stupid.

I mean... I'm not going to run arround in a pink tight shirt that displays the words: 'nobody knows I'm gay'... but I'm not hiding my sexuality any more.

So, today I was driving home from college, there were a couple of friends that live nearby, so I gave them a ride. We were talking about a porn channel on the local tv (playboy TV actually), and another porn channel taht every tuesday has a gay porn movie. REALLY bad one btw. So, as I knew the time of this gay movie (it's wednesday actually at 1:30 AM) a friend joked: oh, look, he knows the times! I'm sure you watch it every tuesday!. I replied, yes, of course! but then I added, ok, not really, it's too late and I have to wake up early in the morning, so I enjoy the ones in my computer.

I don't know if they thought it was a joke or what, but come on! how much more direct can I be???

Than again, somewhat later, I was at TKD. I have a pic of AC in my cell phone, one I took before I took him to get his haircut. And I actually torture myself by watching it every now and then (it's also at my computer... XD).

He asked me for my phone, he said he had to delete something. Of course, I knew he was talking about that pic (it's actually 4 pics... XD). So I replied that they were already stored in my computer, so it wouldn't make a difference.

He said that I was a 'mozo sin bandeja' for having a guys pic in my phone. And I said, yeah I am. And can you believe that he seemed not to notice? I mean... he must be either really stupid or really smart.

Now, I'm sure you are asking yourselves what the hell is a mozo sin bandeja... (except for you popboy! I know you know what I mean). The literal translation would be something like a waiter without a tray. It's a spanish expression because of the way the wrist twists when carrying a tray, and that is a social symbol of homosexuality, at leas in south america. So, basically he was calling me queer.


Anyway, what can I do for people to notice??? I mean, I'm tired of giving these hints, and getting no answer at all...

[hawkeye]

everybody's going to think you are joking, you just have to get used to that. It almost makes it fun to see what you can get away with without everyone else getting too uncomfortable. For example, i have a friend who's acted gay, and everyone is comfortable with him acting gay because nobody believes it. I'm not even sure if he is or not. the kid will randomly poke me in the butt with his drum sticks, but nobody cares. Its like a joke.

[joeyconnick]

It sounds to me like very conscious denial. You'd be amazed at what people are capable of ignoring if they feel like it.

You don't have to wear a sign. But you could - I do. I used to have a rainbow wristband, but now I have a hemp necklace with rainbow beads in it (my best friend made it for me ). I love it, because lots of people notice, and I like it when people know I'm gay.

[goratrix]

Rainbow does not go with my personality. And the only thing in my wrist is my watch, which has a great meaning (emotionally) for me. Other than that I wear nothing but clothes.

Still, I don't like the rainbow... I don't know... it's just me... like the pink triangle... i just don't like that kind of signs...

[Paul_UK]

I think even if you wore a blatent "nobody knows I'm gay" t-shirt, people still wouldn't get the message. They'd assume you were wearing it for a joke or a dare!

Some people can be rather perceptive and pick up in the use of words like "partner" insteard of "girl friend" and get the hint, while others just don't realise even when it's common knowledge. I have encountered both extremes at work.

Fortunately (and surprisingly) nobody has reacted in a negative way that I am aware of.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Paul_UK

Some people can be rather perceptive and pick up in the use of words like "partner" insteard of "girl friend" and get the hint, while others just don't realise even when it's common knowledge. I have encountered both extremes at work.

This isn't guaranteed to indicate anything anymore... the enlightened straight couples I know refer to their significant others as "partners," too.

[goratrix]

I usually avoid the use of girfriend, and in spanish I have a lot of linguistical (does that word exist?) resources to say partner.

[Paul_UK]

Originally Posted by joeyconnick

This isn't guaranteed to indicate anything anymore... the enlightened straight couples I know refer to their significant others as "partners," too.

This is true sometimes, but there are times when people are discussing "wives" and "girl friends" etc, when a more vauge reference like "partner" does stand out. Certainly in this area of the UK, terms like "partner" are not used very often.

Trying to answer "do you have a wife or girlfriend?" type questions honestly without specifically saying you are gay can be tricky (especially when the next question is "what's her name" or whatever....). Options are either to say "No" (which is a true answer to the specific question) if playing it safe, or to answer honestly ("I have a partner, his name is Mark...") if I think it won't cause any problems. I did have someone respond with "Mark is an unusual name for a lady" once, which caused laughter from everyone else and smoothed over the slightly awkward moment nicely!