Closet Flirting?

[KamiKazeM6]

Hi guys, just a question. How can you tell if a guy is interested in you if you are in the closet and possibly he is as well?

I don't understand, he confuses me so much. I don't know if he is just kidding around or is serious. Today, while in school, i walked up to the center of the gym to sign in. My teacher was absent so no teachers were there, and the guy came, said hi, and grabbed my shoulders and began rubbing my back. My first thought was "wtf" then i remembered who it was and everything he has done allways seemed to point that he liked me. The signs being that he allways looked at me and when my eyes met his he looked away, and he allways found someway to touch me, not in a perverted way but like brushing up against me or doing random things. I didn't move at all, i became very tight and let him do it trying to joke around an awkward situation. I began to loosen up and he continued to do it. What struck me as odd though was not the fact that he was standing the middle of a gym rubbing my back, but for the lengthy amount of time he was doing it. A joking rub would have been like 5 to 10 seconds, but he did it for like 30 seconds. Then suddenly he began moving his hands down to my sides. I paniced slightly, and i pulled away. He was hypnotising. I wanted to say something so bad but my throat was so tight that i couldn't form a word. I walked foward and began signing in, trying to think of something to say to him. When i finished i just turned around and smiled at him and asked if he needed to use my pen.

What do you guys think?

[hawkeye]

I wouldn't read too much into a back rub, I know plenty of people who give massages for the heck of it. I also have a friend who makes it a point to poke me in the stomach whenever I'm around, but there's too many people who are just comfortable with themselves. I'd definately throw in signs every once and a while to see if he catches on, but be cautious, there's always the possibility that he'd be insulted by the idea of you liking him.

[KamiKazeM6]

thanks, that is exactly what i thought. Just struck me weird because i seem to be the only person he does it to. He is extremely nice and i have had a few other moments with him as well, but they are just as confusing if not more then the one before. I allways try to see if he does it to others but he doesn't. IDK maybe it is all in my head. He is basically perfect. Intelligent, funny, sweet, good looks, and just plainly comforting.

[nisomer]

Like hawkeye said, don't think too much of it, he is most likely just joking around. Many straight guys act kind of gay just to be funny or something. Even I do it at times, not because I am attracted to the person, but just to joke around.

I also suggest reading this thread, there is a lot of good advice on the same topic as you.

[joeyconnick]

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic optimist but that sounds really... nice. I can totally understand why you feel the way you do. My advice in this case is the same as it usually is: get him alone. That always seems to be the most obvious thing that people seem to have the hardest time realising.

[goratrix]

You should read his attitude, and you are the only one that can do it. Has he done anything else??

I would read too much in a back rub, as Hawkeye said, but still, if you like him it's worth to test the water (still another spanish expression). I mean, you should give him hints, and somehow let him know how you feel. Even though people (specially straight guys) seem to be imune to hints... they are basically unable to pick them up... but if he feels the we you do, then perhaps he will pick on them.

Perhaps returning the favor could be a start... you could walk up to him and give him a back rub... I'm sure you'll enjoy it quiet a bit... and so will he.

[Rob13]

Oh my... I know exactly how you feel. That wierd tension beteen the two of you and you know you are gay but he doens't know that and you don't know if he is. and then when you make eye contact it doens't last very long because it feels awkward. Yea I have no advice for you cause I never could figure it out... lol. All I can say is I have had the same sort of thing happen but never really found out if they were gay or not... If he is a good enough friend.. you might want to tell him you're gay but not say you like him or anything and act like you're not interested in him at all, just kinda stating it. But if that would be too crazy to do... well if you find a way of knowing without coming out to him, tell me! lol. Just letting you know you are not alone...

Rob

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Hehehe i REALLY wish straight guys didn't do those kinda things! :P I have had like 3 guys do that kinda stuff to me! Lol
I told the guy who i liked, who did stuff like that that i was bi! He was sooo freaked out, and he wont let me mention he held my hand before!! hahah. but he is still my friend so i dont care:P

i neva had ne of that happen to me b4 .. only once in high skool, but da guy was a joker so he duss stuff like that. the closest i get to guys r play fights, but wen i went to one of my frends house we were sittin on his bed, watchin t.v n usin his laptop, he was lyin down then i used da pillow n put it ova his head n he dint do nuttin, i thought it was weird so i sat on his head

[Corey]

Originally Posted by Rob13

.. you might want to tell him you're gay but not say you like him or anything and act like you're not interested in him at all, just kinda stating it. But if that would be too crazy to do... well if you find a way of knowing without coming out to him, tell me! lol. Just letting you know you are not alone...

Rob

agreed... tell him that u r gay... thats what i did... he was straight... but we r still good friends... probably closer than we were before

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Hmmmm, how come straight guys always do it to the gay guys!?! lol i dont think very many straight guys do that kinda stuff to each other, they always do it to the ones who like it:P lol/

[24601]

Maybe they like knowing that people want them... an affirmation of their sexiness. Flaunting their beauty and sex appeal. , I don't know. Maybe it's the other way, maybe we're the beautiful ones. Or maybe they just like leading us on, in some sadistic and cruel manner. Who knows? Straight people are weird!

[InaRut]

I know how exactly you feel. As both the gay and the "straight guy." Eff I've had my friend who tried to cuddle me before and I stood their like a log not cuddling back whilst sharing the same bed. Then there was a time I tried to kiss him and he completely blew me off. But yah I give my friends rubs, hugs, and even ass grabs all the time. Male and female. It's what I do hahah. Then again a 30 second back rub...that's a little extreme in my oppinion.

I say what everone else says, "take 'er slow." Sleepovers are always a good way to sneak in a cuddle...TRUST ME--I know *sigh*

[BlasttheCloset]

I dunno, I have been having a hard time with a friend of mine also, since I realized my real sexuality, and I want to tell her, but I don't want things to be awkward between us.

[BlasttheCloset]

But he really does sound nice enough, so you might just flirt with him back a little and see what he does. Or you could just ask him directly. My $0.02

[ok455]

Wow it sounds like this boy i know when i went to high school he would touch me or rub my leg or play with my hands. Then when i'm around other people and he accuse me of being gay i would bring it up and he will deny it.



I would just touch him back do whatever he does to you. When yall are alone put your hands out for a hug and see what he does. Or ask to go to the bathroom in front of him and see what he does.

[Louise]

Next time he touches you, you could just say 'humm that's nice' just to let him know that you like it, then he might do it more. I think he probably does like you or he wouldn't seek you out and touch you. Brushing against by 'accident' is one thing but deliberately rubbing your back for 30 seconds is quite another thing.

If you are feeling very couragous one day you could even rub his back and see his reaction to it.

Hope it all goes well for you