Do your friends think your gay?

[nisomer]

Well, I was in class today talking to my friend, and somehow the subject of jacking off came up. He asked me if I jacked off and I said joking, "Yeah, I jackoff to you everynight." He laughed and said, "Seriously, do you?" I, have no idea why hes asking me this, and I joke again saying, "I told you, I jackoff to you and Phil everynight."

Then this is what he says to me, "Nick, your not gay. If you were gay you would have told me." Then I was like, "Yeah...since I am SO honest."

Then something happened and we had to get back to work. But I was really surprised by his comment, saying that I'm not gay. I guess either I am really good at hiding my secret lol, or maybe his impression on a gay person is the stereotypical one we all see portrayed in the media. So I was wondering, do you guys think anything of what your friends think of you? Like, do you think some of your friends suspect you are gay?

[hawkeye]

heck, if anyone of my friends figured out i was, i think i'd start wondering about them! All my friends see me as the "pimp", the guy catching all the girls and going with older (only 1 or 2 years older) girls to school dances. Sure, i drop a hint here and there, but i think they'd have to be on a completely different train of thought to pick up on them.

[Jordano]

All my life people have thought I was gay, but then realize I have a hott girlfriend for four years and shrug the idea off - its all because Im so stereotypically gay. Im also referred to as the pimp of the group - I have a pickup line for everything - but can joke around with guys about gay stuff because they know me well enough to know Im not (or do they)...

Most people I come across know pretty quick. Either it's because it comes up in a conversation or they just know. I'm very open about it, and I never lie if people ask me. It's not a poblem for me.

My boss at work told me the other day that he knew there was something he liked about me, but couldn't put his finger on it until he heard me and sarah talking about guys the other day. (He's gay, too). He's so great.

[goratrix]

They don't... yet. Although I started a while ago to give some hints... and they become more frecuent and obvious as time passes. They just take it as jokes, or my tendency to be misterious... but I think some of them already suspect.

Although the three people I told did tell me that they didn't expect that from me... oh, well... who knows. I don't want to underestimate them, but I don't think they've given it enought thought. If they had then most of them would have figured it out by now... they are not narrow minded, and most of them have gay friends/relatives.

[KamiKazeM6]

Honestly, i have no idea what my friends think. I believe some suspect and some have no clue. I am semi out of the closet, well in the process. (I have told my best friends, granted it is only three people but it is a big step for me) Lately though i have been acting more like myself. While not admitting i am gay i still stand up for their rights. If my friend says something predjudice against any minority i will stand up to them.

[goratrix]

our rights... and why should we even have different rights... we are all humans for crying out loud!!!

[Micah]

I'm always joking around with my friends about stuff like that. Like the other day some guy just randomly asked me 'are you gay'. So walked up close to him and I said in a sexy tone "yeah I am, and I've been waiting to make a move on you for soo long, but I was just....too.....shy" and I finished up with my face 3cm away from his.

To the point: The topic about gay people came up between a friend a myself, and I asked who she thinks is most likely to be gay (out of our friends) and then I asked if she thought I could be gay. Her reply: "You're too gay to actually be gay" lol. She didn't mean I'm camp or anything, but that i muck around too much, like 'pretending to be gay' (as they see it) so people just assume that I'm comfortable with being straight

[Lava421]

Surprisingly, my friends seem to not know about this. I mean, I'm not a flamboyant guy but sometimes I feel my mannerisms say otherwise. When I talk to my friends and the subject arrives, I nearly always am quiet and eventually get called straight. Some examples:

I was faking being paranoied of touching hands. Because of this phobia, a friend asked what I'll do when I get a girlfriend.

Same situation as above except with another person who said "I guess you've never had a girlfriend."

She's so hot. Don't you think so? (I know this doesn't mean he assumed I was straight but it's almost there.) (Same person: ) "You like Asian women, don't you?"

A chemistry partner gave me a picture of a girl and asked if she's hot to confirm his belief.

We were talking about masturbation (don't ask :P). A person asked how often I do it and called me "straight." In his mind, homosexuals are "cleaner."

To be what I thought was funny, I acted like I was avoiding ordering food at a certain restaurant so I persuaded a friend to order me something from this restaurant. He concluded a "hot girl" working there goes to my school and I have a crush on her.

Other friends now jokingly refer to her as my "girlfriend."

While playing a game involving the word "penis," somebody suggested we make it more heterosexual by using "vagina" instead. During this game, somebody said I would be "gay" if I didn't participate.

A friend sent me a link to a picture of a naked girl. :icon_surp

[xyc]

I actually find this kind of thing really funny.

I've made friends with this guy that the whole school says and thinks is gay. I still don't know if he is or not. The friend I sit with in French class, however, quite often starts to talk to me about this other gay friend and just the things he says and way he talks makes it so obvious that he doesn't have a clue I'm gay. (I'm in a new school this year, so I haven't known any of these new guys very long, though).

To Lava421: Yeah, things like all those examples used to happen to me ALL the time. And, I've been this kind of reserved and quiet person for the last many years so I never liked it. I don't know how old you are, but now I'm 17 and I've changed schools and things like that haven't happen nearly as much here; I think it may have to do with just people maturing somewhat. My friend in French always points out when a hot chick's wearing a tiny skirt or if you can see her panties or something, though. However, I don't mind... I only with I knew what kind of expression I should put on, lol!

Also, along the same lines, in the past I'd ALWAYS avoid sexuality conversations (which eventually led to me avoiding ALL conversations) because I was so shy and confused still... and I'm one of those people whose faces go red when anything even mildly embarassing/whatever happens... But this year my personality is changing and I'm so much happier at my new school. Lately, I've done really 'gay' things. Like, I'll just suddenly write a note to my friend about 'Hey don't you think that guy is hot' about someone. The interesting thing, of course, is that doing that ensures everyone that you're NOT gay. The only thing is that I don't like the 'gay joking around with friends' things when it gets physical... for some obvious reasons. And it happened once with this guy I have a terrible crush on (my friend in French class this is, actually) and so I went red and started to get hard and got uncomfortable touching him even where I was... (part of me wanted to go FURTHER and part of me wanted to back off NOW so maybe I could still be friends with him, ugh!)

Okay, long enough post...

[Blink]

All of my friends already know I'm gay. All anyone else has to do is see my flailing arms when I talk, and they understand.

[nisomer]

Originally Posted by xyc

Also, along the same lines, in the past I'd ALWAYS avoid sexuality conversations (which eventually led to me avoiding ALL conversations) because I was so shy and confused still... and I'm one of those people whose faces go red when anything even mildly embarassing/whatever happens... But this year my personality is changing and I'm so much happier at my new school.

That was pretty much the same with me my past couple years, and that is why I became very anti-social. But like you, I am much better and happier this year because I think that I have truly realized and accepted myself.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Blink

All of my friends already know I'm gay. All anyone else has to do is see my flailing arms when I talk, and they understand.

That is SO funny!

All my friends know I'm gay and have for a while. I don't quite have the "flailing arms" things going on but when I start going on about my life and whoever I'm pining away for this week, it becomes pretty evident pretty quick. I'm definitely not butch... in fact, some of the best fun I have with friends is pretending to be stereotypically straight, saying stuff like "dude that's so gay" and "that girl is hott!"

[goratrix]

Originally Posted by xyc

and I'm one of those people whose faces go red when anything even mildly embarassing/whatever happens...

The same thing happens to me. I hate it... it's so obvious I'm nervous... and I always get like that when I'm arround AC, and I start thinking about him in sexual ways... and people just would ask me how I do it, to get red at will. I usually joke making a gesture with my hand that obviously represents masturbating... but then again... it's almost true.

After a while I became really quiet and reserverd. I wouldn't speak unless completely sure of what I was saying, and I would just avoid any embarrassing situation at all costs. And it costed me greatly, for now I don't seem to have the ability to relate with other people... Oh, well... I'm turning red just remembering that stuff...

[popboy]

Originally Posted by goratrix

They don't... yet. Although I started a while ago to give some hints... and they become more frecuent and obvious as time passes. They just take it as jokes, or my tendency to be misterious... but I think some of them already suspect.
After a while I became really quiet and reserverd. I wouldn't speak unless completely sure of what I was saying, and I would just avoid any embarrassing situation at all costs. And it costed me greatly, for now I don't seem to have the ability to relate with other people... Oh, well... I'm turning red just remembering that stuff...

Would you believe if I told you I could have written those paragraphs myself?

Regarding the topic, I think my friends don't have a clue. I've always been very shy and not flamboyant at all, and at my current age no one would expect me to come out. After all, I have my personality and I probably don't seem to be the kind of person that might hide something for this long (somehow I managed to do so).
***insight***
I was about the age I should have come out if I had been conscious enough (17 or 18), when after leaving a disco a girl from school said something about me that really disturbed me. She was drunk, so I don't know if she remembers (I was completely sober as usual). I've just recalled this incident. It happened ages ago. She was talking about a conversation about me she had kept with my best female friend (who happened to be also drunk in the same cab sitting next to us), and she clearly hinted that they thought I had no feelings for the opposite sex. I can't remember her exact words, but remember I felt like "no matter how hard you try, they will think there's something different about you". I didn't want to be different. Repression did its job and the whole incident was buried somewhere in my memory... until today.
***sighs***
I do love catharsis :-)

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by popboy

She was talking about a conversation about me she had kept with my best female friend (who happened to be also drunk in the same cab sitting next to us), and she clearly hinted that they thought I had no feelings for the opposite sex. I can't remember her exact words, but remember I felt like "no matter how hard you try, they will think there's something different about you". I didn't want to be different.

Well no, most people don't want to be different but yeah, it sounds like a lot of people are overcompensating on the whole "let's hide that we're gay" thing. Perceptive people will always be able to tell something is up--not necessarily what it is, but definitely that there is something going on.

The only way to deal with that is to somehow come to terms with yourself, I think. That's not to say you have to come out but more like... I don't know, you need to accept it or something.

And everyone is "different" in some way, and feels like they don't belong. There's just varying degrees of that. I know I made being different pretty much like a badge (like goratrix about being proud of being a nerd) only to discover how "human" (i.e. like everyone else) I really am. Which is not to say I'm ordinary or anything but rather that no matter how different we may be or think we are, we are all human and there are some definite commonalities between people.

[nisomer]

Well today on aim I had another situation in which someone assumed I was straight.

My friend asked me if I knew who this guy was, and I said yes I knew him. And heres the rest of the conversation directly from aim:

Her: you guys friends?
Me: not really
Her: you think hes good looking for a guy?
Me: uhh
Me: lol
Her: just be gay for one second
Her: if you were gay would u look at him?
Me: "look at him"?
Her: like think hes hot
Me: lol
Her: cme onnn
Me: not really
Her: oh okay
Me: lol
Me: ok i have to go mow the lawn
Me: bye
Her: bye!

I wanted to so badly tell her I was gay right when she said "just be gay for one second". Man...but if I do tell someone it would have to be in person. Well at least I didn't lie, cuz the guy isn't really that hot lol.

[goratrix]

Although, it would have been an excelent oportunity to say something like: hell yeah! I'd do him right here on my desk if I had the chance.

A good way to give hints... XD

[hawkeye]

Its funny how girls like to do stuff like that. I guess girls normaly compare other girls more that straight guys would, and the girls dont realize that. I've been asked plenty of times by girls if a guy was hot, and usualy they have good taste, but it's not like i was about to say anything. I also remember being asked that around a kid I would have guessed was gay, and he did the same thing and kind of dismissed the question. I have no idea if he is gay, but if he is, i wouldnt be surprized if he held it in just because i was around.

[d00d]

This is an interesting topic.

Thinking back on this issue, the only people who've said "I kinda already knew" after I shared that special fact with them were the people I gave sufficient hints to. Otherwise no one ever really was sure. Which I'm happy about I think.