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Old 30th Jan 2011, 12:18 PM   #1
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Default Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Lately, like the last month or so, I have been feeling really distant from my family and friends.

At work, there are a number of people that I just cant bother listening to, I try as far as possible to drown them out when they are speaking 'towards me' although I do respond when asked a direct question. There is one guy in particular, an older gentleman, who when he is trying to be funny at my expense I cant help but blank out him and the others who find his humour entertaining. That's probably not that odd but I used to be concerned enough to offer some sort of retort.

Another colleague, I just cant stand listening to her, she whines so much about stuff that I want to throttle her. If I can resist telling people all my problems cant she at least have the good grace to do the same? I dont want to know what is happening in her life and I just stare at my computer screen and try to work away while ignoring her. I constantly sit with my head resting on one arm when she is boring me to tears.

Probably not great cause for concern on their own but as part of a pattern maybe concerning.

With my family, I generally cant maintain a conversation of anything more than a few words, unless its a practical conversation (ie. along the lines of 'do you need this' with me giving the appropriate response). When they try to engage me in conversation I try to keep the conversation as brief as possible. I've no real interest in their problems and I tend to tune them out again. I'm finding I have no real empathy/sympathy towards them when I really should do - they are great people.

Friends, pretty much the same, though I do find I am getting quite abrubt with them. Last night I kind of blew my lid via text with a friend - though the two way banter means that I can pretty much cover that up as me just being me - though secretly I kind of meant what I said for at least a while until I cooled down.

I also managed to stall a 'potential' 'relationship' where I was just totally ignorant to the person. Again, on its own, not a big thing but as part of a pattern it concerns me.

I'm pushing people away even though I am feeling quite lonely since moving out on my own.

I'm constantly tired.

At this stage I would just love to lie in bed all day everyday and not have to worry about interacting with other people.
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Old 30th Jan 2011, 01:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Hi there! Reading through your post, it sounds like that you are suffering from depression. You have mentioned a few signs, such as withdrawal/feeling distant from the people around you, not wanting to engage with others, feeling tired and lonely.

Changes in ones life can bring about anxieties and insecurities. Moving out and leaving home can bring about some anxieties and/or worries. Trying to adjust to things can itself be difficult at times.

Do you have access to a counselor or therapist? I think it would be a good idea to maybe talk about some of the things you have mentioned here, to get to the bottom of what might be causing all of it/or at least one of the symptoms.
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Old 30th Jan 2011, 11:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

I do have access to a counsellor/therapist. I've thought about contacting one of the organisations I have previously dealt with but I always convince myself that my issues aren't serious enough. The last time I was in therapy it ended kind of abruptly as the counsellor was leaving his job. The thought of starting again makes me feel pretty shit about myself. I should be past needing this.

One other thing I forgot to mention, a few times in the last month or so I have left the cooker on for extended periods after using it, I could understand if I was drunk but I wasn't. I'm going to end up burning the house down if I don't wise up.
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Old 31st Jan 2011, 12:33 AM   #4
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Hi there! Starting to see a counselor again should help you to feel better about yourself. Seeing a counselor and trying to address and find answers to the things that are bothering you, is not a sign of weakness. Rather it is a sign of strength. If you think about it, going into a counselor's office and talking about things takes a lot of courage.

It doesn't matter for how long you need the support or help from a counselor. All that matters is that you talk about the things that are going on in your life and address them. From what you have mentioned, it is clear that there are deeper issues. Start talking about things.
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Old 17th Feb 2011, 12:19 PM   #5
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It's taken a few weeks but I've finally made another appointment. Going next Wednesday and see how it goes.
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Old 18th Feb 2011, 11:41 PM   #6
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God, your freaking post, EXACTLY mirrored my life. Damn. I hope everything works for for you and please contact me if you need someone to talk to.
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Old 19th Feb 2011, 01:31 AM   #7
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Even if the counselling doesn't work out, try looking online for things you can do to treat depression by yourself. It sounds like pseudoscience but a lot of the things people recommend about diet, exercise etc are aimed at dealing with symptoms like lack of energy. They don't treat the underlying cause (if there is one) but it could help to get things started.
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Old 19th Feb 2011, 05:31 AM   #8
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
Lately, like the last month or so, I have been feeling really distant from my family and friends.

At work, there are a number of people that I just cant bother listening to, I try as far as possible to drown them out when they are speaking 'towards me' although I do respond when asked a direct question. There is one guy in particular, an older gentleman, who when he is trying to be funny at my expense I cant help but blank out him and the others who find his humour entertaining. That's probably not that odd but I used to be concerned enough to offer some sort of retort.

Another colleague, I just cant stand listening to her, she whines so much about stuff that I want to throttle her. If I can resist telling people all my problems cant she at least have the good grace to do the same? I dont want to know what is happening in her life and I just stare at my computer screen and try to work away while ignoring her. I constantly sit with my head resting on one arm when she is boring me to tears.

Probably not great cause for concern on their own but as part of a pattern maybe concerning.

With my family, I generally cant maintain a conversation of anything more than a few words, unless its a practical conversation (ie. along the lines of 'do you need this' with me giving the appropriate response). When they try to engage me in conversation I try to keep the conversation as brief as possible. I've no real interest in their problems and I tend to tune them out again. I'm finding I have no real empathy/sympathy towards them when I really should do - they are great people.

Friends, pretty much the same, though I do find I am getting quite abrubt with them. Last night I kind of blew my lid via text with a friend - though the two way banter means that I can pretty much cover that up as me just being me - though secretly I kind of meant what I said for at least a while until I cooled down.

I also managed to stall a 'potential' 'relationship' where I was just totally ignorant to the person. Again, on its own, not a big thing but as part of a pattern it concerns me.

I'm pushing people away even though I am feeling quite lonely since moving out on my own.

I'm constantly tired.

At this stage I would just love to lie in bed all day everyday and not have to worry about interacting with other people.
You are depressed.I'm exactly same and worse, its quite sure you are depressed.
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Old 19th Feb 2011, 09:36 AM   #9
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Good luck! Depression usually responds best when we get proactive about getting on top of it.

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Old 22nd Feb 2011, 12:20 PM   #10
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Well, tomorrow might be coming at the right time, I feel absolutely rotten right now.

I was on the drink pretty heavily from Friday to Monday inclusive. Spent way too much and drank way too much too.

I've spent most of the day analysing why I did that and why I do it on a fairly regular basis.

Self-loathing, self-pity and reading about suicide on the internet have been the order of the day. I'm not about to top myself though. Its just something I think about on a semi-regular basis with no plan to actually do it.

I know this is a pretty pitiful post and I just feeling sorry for myself because I am hungover after the four days drink but I still feel the need to put it out there for some reason.

And one last thing - its just so galling that people still think I am straight despite the fact I have never even talked about women nevermind dated one. I can at least solve that one if I ever pluck up the courage to just tell everyone I am gay.
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Old 22nd Feb 2011, 12:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

Quote:
And one last thing - its just so galling that people still think I am straight despite the fact I have never even talked about women nevermind dated one. I can at least solve that one if I ever pluck up the courage to just tell everyone I am gay.
Just keep in mind, they don't think you're straight as a personal affront to you, they think you're straight because nine out of ten people are. So even if they suspected you of being gay, all but the most hip-shooting of them are not going to ask you, because what if you're not? It's considered an insult for a guy to be perceived as gay if he isn't, apparently...
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Old 22nd Feb 2011, 12:54 PM   #12
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

^ QFT. I know a lot of people who would get just as upset if people said (or assumed) that they were gay.

Lex
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Old 22nd Feb 2011, 01:15 PM   #13
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Default Re: Feeling distant from friends/family/work colleagues

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Quote:
And one last thing - its just so galling that people still think I am straight despite the fact I have never even talked about women nevermind dated one. I can at least solve that one if I ever pluck up the courage to just tell everyone I am gay.
Just keep in mind, they don't think you're straight as a personal affront to you, they think you're straight because nine out of ten people are. So even if they suspected you of being gay, all but the most hip-shooting of them are not going to ask you, because what if you're not? It's considered an insult for a guy to be perceived as gay if he isn't, apparently...
I know, but it still irritates me, Its probably more annoyance at myself than actually at them.
Quote:
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^ QFT. I know a lot of people who would get just as upset if people said (or assumed) that they were gay.

Lex
True, so do I, its annoyance at myself more than at them.
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