Empty Closets Coming Out Resources and a Safe Place to Chat
Welcome Forum Chat Room Resources News Members

Go Back   Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out > Support Area > Anonymous Discussions

Anonymous Discussions If you don't want to put your name to your post you can post anonymously here.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10th May 2010, 02:52 PM   #1
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 78,102
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

I have a question how can you be a better bottom for your boyfriend and what can you do to have less pain on the way in and more pleasure when it is in?(no answers to do will using lube thanks unless there is a very good brand worth manioning) Also any possions would be helpful as long as they dont go into detail like on back legs up for example.
Anonymous is offline  
Old 10th May 2010, 03:08 PM   #2
Full Member
 
Austin's Avatar
 

Gender: Polycistronic Hermaphroditic Goldfish
Orientation: Cisnon-pansexual Homoerotic homosexual
Out Status: Most people in my life.
Location: Orange County, California, USA
Age: 22
Posts: 1,984
Join Date: Apr 2008


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Well, if you do not enjoy bottoming, don't bottom.
__________________

"Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel."
Austin is online now  
Old 10th May 2010, 03:50 PM   #3
The gay gargoyle
EC Advisor
 
Lexington's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Colorado
Age: 44
Posts: 15,356
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Austin's got the right idea. If you're bottoming completely and solely because "he wants me to", then you probably shouldn't be doing it. It's one thing to "give it the old college try" once or twice just to see if you enjoy it, and to let him enjoy himself. But if you're not interested in it, you shouldn't put yourself through it.

But if you really DO want to bottom, but it just hasn't been enjoyable, then chances are he simply isn't prepping you enough. He needs to take time to use his (lubricated, and rubber-gloved-if-he-wants) fingers to prime you for anal. He need to VERY GENTLY AND VERY SLOWLY get one finger in you, then start gently working the finger in and out, in several directions, getting you loose. Once the first finger has opened you up enough, he can move on to two fingers, and then three. Only once the three fingers feel OK should he proceed to put his CONDOM-SHEATHED AND HEAVILY LUBRICATED penis into you. He should insert slowly, giving you time to get used to it. And once he's all the way in, he should stop there for a minute or two, to give you time to finish getting prepared. Only then should he start thrusting - gently at first.

You might also try straddling him. Let him lie on his back, and you can lower yourself onto him (once he's primed you). This will put you in control how fast the thrusting is.

If he doesn't feel like priming you, or tries rushing you to the part where he gets to shove his dick in you, this doesn't mean you're not a good bottom. It means he's a lousy top.

Lex
Lexington is offline  
Old 10th May 2010, 04:06 PM   #4
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 78,102
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Thanks although I am still a virgin (In all respects of the word), I was asking advice to help With my first time a bottom because I do want a dick in me and I want it to be a good first time so I know If I like top, bottom or both. Thanks for the advice. Also any other advice is welcome.
Anonymous is offline  
Old 10th May 2010, 04:39 PM   #5
Kevin42
Guest
 
Posts: n/a

Tournaments Won: 43

Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
Thanks although I am still a virgin (In all respects of the word), I was asking advice to help With my first time a bottom because I do want a dick in me and I want it to be a good first time so I know If I like top, bottom or both. Thanks for the advice. Also any other advice is welcome.
To be fair, the first time may not be the best. It certainly wasn't very good for me. Of course, everything takes some practice and I certainly love bottoming now.

You mentioned lube, so I am just going to suggest astroglide as a good water-based one. Or, if you want to use an oil based one Pjur is amazing (they may even have one designed for anal).

Besides that, all I can say is I hope you enjoy it. Just relax and enjoy it.
 
Old 10th May 2010, 04:43 PM   #6
EC 'Dad'
EC Advisor
 
Jim1454's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Toronto
Age: 43
Posts: 8,405
Join Date: Mar 2007


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin42 View Post
You mentioned lube, so I am just going to suggest astroglide as a good water-based one.
Thats what I use. There is a liquid and a gel form, and we have found that the gel is ideal for anal. It's a little thicker so it's easier to apply and stays where you want it - which is a good thing.
__________________
Jim
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
Jim1454 is offline  
Old 10th May 2010, 06:08 PM   #7
Banned
 
joeyconnick's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 3,330
Join Date: Apr 2005


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

The important thing to remember about bottoming is that it often can hurt and feel really weird/uncomfortable the first few times... usually this is because of a ton of associated guilty/shameful feelings most people pick up about sticking something "up there" and about homosexuality in general.

Basically, the more relaxed/comfortable you feel (and, unsurprisingly, the more horny you are) the more likely you are to enjoy it. For some people, that means having a drink or two beforehand (please not I do not mean getting wasted because that's generally when people make bad sexual choices--there's a difference between being buzzed and being full-on drunk, however). I know for me what often helped is if I had cum beforehand, I generally felt pretty relaxed and it made getting fucked easier.

In addition to being fingered, getting rimmed can really help.

Bad anal sex is really bad but good anal sex is amazing. Although you hear that it "always" hurts the first time, that's not necessarily true (at least it wasn't for me). Another thing to consider is that sometimes anal sex won't work well with one partner but may work really well with another, depending on things like your experience level, his experience level, his dick size, and how you and he "line up" geometrically.

See? Geometry IS useful after all!
joeyconnick is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2013, 08:28 PM   #8
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 78,102
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

exactyly right!!!
Anonymous is offline  
Old 22nd Jul 2014, 03:25 PM   #9
Newbie
Regular Member
 
Roymonster's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Posts: 1
Join Date: Aug 2013


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

There's nothing wrong with being afraid especially for the first time.
I haven't yet either, and it's because I'm scared it's going to hurt. Texas have used their finger but, that hurts because it's so hard!
I'm assuming the penis will be a lot more comfortable.
Roymonster is offline  
Old 22nd Jul 2014, 06:29 PM   #10
Molitva
EC Admin
 
Mirko's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out and about
Location: BC, Canada
Age: 37
Posts: 15,422
Join Date: Apr 2008


Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

It's a pretty old thread, therefore it is has been locked.
__________________
~ Somewhere within us all there is a secret garden. A garden in which we can seek refuge when times are rough or retire to in joy or contemplation ~
Mirko is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright (c) 2004-2014, Empty Closets Community Services
the Empty Closets name and logo are registered trademarks of Empty Closets Community Services

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20