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Old 10th May 2010, 02:52 PM   #1
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Default Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

I have a question how can you be a better bottom for your boyfriend and what can you do to have less pain on the way in and more pleasure when it is in?(no answers to do will using lube thanks unless there is a very good brand worth manioning) Also any possions would be helpful as long as they dont go into detail like on back legs up for example.
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Old 10th May 2010, 03:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Well, if you do not enjoy bottoming, don't bottom.
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Old 10th May 2010, 03:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Austin's got the right idea. If you're bottoming completely and solely because "he wants me to", then you probably shouldn't be doing it. It's one thing to "give it the old college try" once or twice just to see if you enjoy it, and to let him enjoy himself. But if you're not interested in it, you shouldn't put yourself through it.

But if you really DO want to bottom, but it just hasn't been enjoyable, then chances are he simply isn't prepping you enough. He needs to take time to use his (lubricated, and rubber-gloved-if-he-wants) fingers to prime you for anal. He need to VERY GENTLY AND VERY SLOWLY get one finger in you, then start gently working the finger in and out, in several directions, getting you loose. Once the first finger has opened you up enough, he can move on to two fingers, and then three. Only once the three fingers feel OK should he proceed to put his CONDOM-SHEATHED AND HEAVILY LUBRICATED penis into you. He should insert slowly, giving you time to get used to it. And once he's all the way in, he should stop there for a minute or two, to give you time to finish getting prepared. Only then should he start thrusting - gently at first.

You might also try straddling him. Let him lie on his back, and you can lower yourself onto him (once he's primed you). This will put you in control how fast the thrusting is.

If he doesn't feel like priming you, or tries rushing you to the part where he gets to shove his dick in you, this doesn't mean you're not a good bottom. It means he's a lousy top.

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Old 10th May 2010, 04:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

Thanks although I am still a virgin (In all respects of the word), I was asking advice to help With my first time a bottom because I do want a dick in me and I want it to be a good first time so I know If I like top, bottom or both. Thanks for the advice. Also any other advice is welcome.
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Old 10th May 2010, 04:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

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Thanks although I am still a virgin (In all respects of the word), I was asking advice to help With my first time a bottom because I do want a dick in me and I want it to be a good first time so I know If I like top, bottom or both. Thanks for the advice. Also any other advice is welcome.
To be fair, the first time may not be the best. It certainly wasn't very good for me. Of course, everything takes some practice and I certainly love bottoming now.

You mentioned lube, so I am just going to suggest astroglide as a good water-based one. Or, if you want to use an oil based one Pjur is amazing (they may even have one designed for anal).

Besides that, all I can say is I hope you enjoy it. Just relax and enjoy it.
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Old 10th May 2010, 04:43 PM   #6
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

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You mentioned lube, so I am just going to suggest astroglide as a good water-based one.
Thats what I use. There is a liquid and a gel form, and we have found that the gel is ideal for anal. It's a little thicker so it's easier to apply and stays where you want it - which is a good thing.
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Old 10th May 2010, 06:08 PM   #7
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

The important thing to remember about bottoming is that it often can hurt and feel really weird/uncomfortable the first few times... usually this is because of a ton of associated guilty/shameful feelings most people pick up about sticking something "up there" and about homosexuality in general.

Basically, the more relaxed/comfortable you feel (and, unsurprisingly, the more horny you are) the more likely you are to enjoy it. For some people, that means having a drink or two beforehand (please not I do not mean getting wasted because that's generally when people make bad sexual choices--there's a difference between being buzzed and being full-on drunk, however). I know for me what often helped is if I had cum beforehand, I generally felt pretty relaxed and it made getting fucked easier.

In addition to being fingered, getting rimmed can really help.

Bad anal sex is really bad but good anal sex is amazing. Although you hear that it "always" hurts the first time, that's not necessarily true (at least it wasn't for me). Another thing to consider is that sometimes anal sex won't work well with one partner but may work really well with another, depending on things like your experience level, his experience level, his dick size, and how you and he "line up" geometrically.

See? Geometry IS useful after all!
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Old 1st Aug 2013, 08:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: Being a better bottom and how to enjoy it more.

exactyly right!!!
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